~Love is patience~

2009-06-27T15:44:00.001+08:00

Love hurts

2009-05-16T19:45:00.003+08:00

Like my heading.. LOVE HURTS...
Letting go hurts more....
But i did it...
"Let her go if you really love her "
This phrase came to my mind when i was smoking in my room..
And at the point of time,
the primarative subjuct is in my room..
And i chased her out..
Out of the house,
Out of my life..
A decision which made tears roll down my cheek..
Un-noticed..
Its sad...
I'm feeling very sad..
But yet i'm happy..
With wad i did..
I took her out of my heart..
She's gone.. FOREVER..
that i know..
and yet i'm happy..
Cuz finally words were put into actions..

I love you gal.. But i'm sorry i had to do these..
I had to break us up cuz draggin only hurts more..
A mere 4 mths is still okay to take..
Thoughts of wad i went thru after i broke up in a 2 years r/s came back running towards me..
and i'm scare..
So it had to be done...

Good luck in life and may we not see each other anymore in this life...

2009-05-16T11:26:00.002+08:00

Nothing's new with life..

The usual rountine of working..

Pokering...

Soccer Betting has alr became my life..

Single and very available..

But yet i chose not to get into another r/s anytime soon...

Not because i can't let go of the previous one..

But prob jus dun think i suit anyone now..

With the kind of life i am leading now..

I simply have to choice to say no to gf..

Why no to gf? Simply because i'v got almost no time to talk to her at work...

Eyes looking, staring, glaring at me all the time like an eagle awaiting to strike at its un-noticing prey...

Haix.. and working takes up almost all my time when i'm not sleeping...

So i'v got to scarifice my sleep for my beloved poker sessions with buddys....

From 11am-9pm.. sometimes i am late for work.. sometimes i leave early...

Its a bad thing to do.. It really is.. No wonder the HQ ppl hates me so much...

Can't wait to find fault with me at every single little thing...

So normally ard 9pm-10pm i'll leave workplace..

My next destination is either home or josh's place..

Cuz that's where poker normally takes place..

And normally we'll play till next morning..

Thus leaving me with less then 4hrs of slp everyday..

Once i stayed till 9am.. Went sun tanning with nick...

Then went to work straight.. LOL..

bUt poker sessions are fun..

It's like i'm really born to play this game..

My last no winnings were $134 from a $20 buy-in game and $90 from a $70 buy-in game..

It made me the top earner amoung my frens...

I do hope one day i'll be like the big shots playing high stakes poker on national tv.. =D

That's my dream baby...

Anyway... This week, i'v clubbed like 3 times....

1 at Dbl O, twice with poker buddies at Zouk...

And everytime we nvr fail to not get gals..

You see..

They are like regulars there..

So that made me even easier to hook up..

Hahas.. guess no one can stop me from playing now..

I'v got no one to be responsible to anymore..

So .... let's party ppl !!! =D

Alright.. Blog till here..

Heading to sentosa now.. =D

Cheers ppl !!

2009-04-23T00:20:00.002+08:00

Its not working out too well now...

I guess abit of space will do us both good...

Considering we only meet up once or twice a week..

It's doing other guys out there a good job...

And the endless quarrels over the phone at night....

It makes me feel so lonely at times...

No one to turn to a all...

All i hope is that you'll be at least a little sensitive to the situation right now...

All i hope is to see the effort you might wanna put into this r/s...

It's breaking up and I'm jus helpless at night...

All i wan is jus a little bit of security from you..

And that to hear or see from your actions that you still care...

Work !!!

2009-04-15T02:50:00.003+08:00

Working almost every single day except on sats at Citibella spa and beauty centre at Jurong Point which is at boon lay from 11am-9pm...

Fucking 1 hr journey there and home...

But time pass by damn quickly..

It's a bliss i got this job without pulling much strings...

Earning a rough figure of 1k odd per mth...

Its been a while since money came rolling in'..

Hahass...

Do feel free to drop by and ask me for lunch if i'm free...

I hope i can be free most of the time though...

It'll be quite slack after working for a while i guess...

The ppl there, some frenly, some fucked up...

FUCKING MALAYSIANS...

CCB...

u think u all who..

knn come my country earn money still kpkb....

Not happy fuck off back to m'sia lah...

_l_

I Luv my Nana !!! =D

Alone~

2009-04-07T04:12:00.003+08:00

Its been 3 days since baby left sg alr..

Couldn't reach her thru the phone for some reasons..

Maybe didn't activate the auto-roaming services bah..

Miss her loads... And i think Jade miss her as well..

Jade's now residing at my place for the 1 week when baby's in taiwan..

And taking care of him is actually not as hellious and i'v expected..

Had fun with him but he's jus a little too fierce..

Anyway, Sam's back from aus for a 2 week vacation...

Slept over at his place last night..

Had poker and made a personal best record of clearing someone in the first hand of the night...

He had 2 pairs while i had triples... And i went all in, which he called..

And therefore he lost everything.. LOL...

The buy-in was only 20 bucks so.. hahahs..

But as the night continued..

At 1 point i found myself losing everything and i was down to zero dollars..

Sam lend me 8 bucks and in the end i made back but still lost $2.50..

Hahas.. it was alright.. a nice game..

So today went out with sam to slack ard in town..

The leong brothers came and we played 4.5hrs of dota at cyberdome at meridian..

Wasn't reallly fun... Lost every single game..

oKAy jus came home after slacking with Wen hui...

Time to go to bed..

Nights you'all... =D

MISS YOU ALOT BABY !!!!! ="(

Photos :

@ Chalet

New hair colour and style for me and baby =)

That's my gal !!!! =)

Before baby left ~

Tired~

2009-03-29T14:08:00.002+08:00

Taken at dear's wrokplace...

Jus got back from chalet..

So tired...

Had loads of fun...

Was glad that dear and my cell mates bonded well...

Luvs~

2009-03-26T18:40:00.002+08:00

I love you sandnana !!! =D

Why must this happen again... WHY !!??

Told ya there is nth btw me and her le....

Yet you still wanna insist on your views....

I give up...

If you say there's smth on then there is....

NS~

2009-03-24T02:23:00.002+08:00

Went back to school today to appeal..

But was told that I won't stand a single chance unless I have a fucking good reason..

Gina and Des went with me...

And they were the first ones to hear the news..

And i think they were shocked at how calm I still could remain..

Although I am dismissed from sch...

They say i can always come back and finish up wad i left behind after NS....

Haix.. Hope they dun tua me on this...

So NS life... Here i come..

A little comforting news is that I would be able to go NS with my frens..

And hopefully we get into the same camp and then I would really have no regrets...

Already spent 2 years alone in poly le...

Dun wan my NS life to sux...

Many of you might be thinking I ki siao or smth..

Go NS still so happy.. But let me tell u guys...

I'm more then prepared to enter NS..

Or should i say can't wait to be enlisted..

But a part of me will be sad cuz i won't be able to see baby as often le...

But on weekends k? =D

Now while waiting for check up and enlistment letter..

I will be working my time away...

Hopefully earn some money and enjoy the remaining time b4 i enter...

Alright back to today...

After school went to city hall with gina and des...

Acc gina to collect her pay...

Then bus-ed to AMK...

Met up with the usual ppl and slacked practically...

Ate dinner with Jon tian and home was the next destination...

Been dota-ing till now and of cuz not to forget..

Talking to baby...

Haven seen her for days le..

Tml will be going down after the job interview to look for her at Roxy...

Miss you loads gurl...

Cya tml yeah?? =D

*Misses and hugs*

2009-03-20T10:48:00.003+08:00

Results :

Ecam : F
EMD : F
DOPS : F
PT : D

Remark : DISMISSED !!!!!!!

Si bei swee lah....
Failed fucking ecam and emd again...
Knn....
These 2 courses dun like me izzit??
Siao liao...
Ppl study 6 sems in poly...
While i need to do 8 sems...
!#@%$#@^%&#%

Sometimes... Really jus feel like quitting..
Go straight to NS...
And sigh on..
But i know w/o a diploma...
I'm close to being nth...
SO NO.... I gotta strive on....
1 More year...
Needa go bck to school on monday to appeal...
Fucked. !!

2009-03-17T17:20:00.003+08:00

Jus got back from Wen Hui's poly class chalet at pasir ris ,costa sands...
Most of the ppl there were like hi bye frens in poly,
but last night's bonding has brought us closer..
They were quite fun and good people to hang out with..
Before the chalet went down to bedok to look for Sand for awhile..
Slacked for abit then went to meet wh at bedok mrt at 5 plus...
Then train-ed down to pasir ris...
When we arrived at the chalet,
Tj and a few others whom i dunno were playing mahjong..
And the rest were either playing cards inside or playing the X-box 360 brought by Roeder..
Slacked and played a few rounds on the x-box..
Then started to help set-up and bbq..
The food was alright..
Initially felt sianx.. Wanted to leave early..
But then darling was coming so stayed on..
Was bbq-ing when she arrived..
Watched Perfect Cut 2 and then went to bbq more food...
Ard 11plus dear got tired so send her to take a cab home..

Went back to the chalet..
Could hear their laughters from 1 block away..
That was how loud they were..
They were playing circle of death and i joined in halfway..
JAy broke the chain and therefore he finished up 3 cups of bacardi mix...
And turned into a tomato..
Super fking red i swear...
Then played the indian poker game..
Everyone had their fair share of drinks so its okay ....
But once in a while there's a few moments of sa bo-ing and stuff..
After playing..
Went out for more photo takings...
Then walked to Mac's for supper..
Roeder was totally drunk..
She even labelled herself a "Mei ren yu" (Mermaid)
We were like no lah.. u are "Mei ren yeeeeeeeeeeeeee" ;P
Hahas.. super funny..
There's also one part at downtown where we backed away as Jay continued walking alone in front..
And the rest of us hid up..
Should have seen the shocked look on his face lah !!!
HAHAS...
So.. had mac's...
Saw a few super under age smoking...
Haix...
Singaporean kids...
Hopeless...
Next wanted to go red hus but abit far cuz we'r all tired le..
So headed back to chalet..
Played poker thru-out the whole night..
And even in the morning...
At the end of the enitre day of intense gambling..
I'm proud to say i didn't lose nor win..
That suxs..
LOLS....

So ate lunch at downtown then cabbed home with wh...
Slpt like punnie like only..
Abit tired now..
Think will take a short nap now...
Ciao !

Oh yeah... b4 i forget !!!
WATCH " COMING SOON " !!!!
It's fucking scary.. I swear !!!!

A moment to savour

2009-03-12T00:50:00.004+08:00

Patched up with dear days ago...

Was really glad that one small error did not lead to a big mistake in our lifes..

Alright.. Let's start blogging...

Sunday :

Went to dear's place to teach her maths...

Think she did manage to understand a thing or 2...

Halfway thru studying...

Unpleasant things happened and due to that i left...

Leaving a scar on her...

But it wasn't intentional...

Cuz i was lied to...

Anyway..

went back to AMK...

Met up with wawa and this hongster wen ning...

Ken's godsis..

She came to find us cuz she happens to be in AMK..

Then met up with leong bros...

Went to basketball court there slack...

After awhile went home and dota-ed..

Monday :

Reached home and slept..
Was talking to dear on msn b4 she left for her papers..

And by the time i woke up she's back alr..

Not really good news from her regarding her paper...

But its okay.. like i told you jus now..

I'll supervise you everyday from the start of next skol term..

and make sure u pass everything with flying colours... =D
Initially dear said she'll be coming over to mine to study..
But then ltr changed her mind cuz it started to rain and she was rather tired..
So she asked me to go over to her's instead..
Which i did..

Didn't really teach her much cuz most of the time we'r jus talking..
Had dinner then went home...
Slacked awhile at home b4 meeting the clique at 2am..
Went to Gina's place to tonn..

Played wii, mahjong and watched tv...

Was really fun lah..

Kept my mind off things for abit...

And before i knew it, i was snoring away on the sofa ard 5am...

Tuesday :

Woke up at about 2pm...
Met up with des for lunch...

Went to hub next to find dason...

Dear came back from her exam..

Didn't excel as well for the second paper..

Cheer up yeah?

Its the holidays.. =D
Slacked awhile at hub b4 watching Kungfu Chef with gina...
Can only say its a so-so movie..
Then after that went sumo house with her for dinner..
Next stop was her house..
Went there slack awhile and read blogs...
Ken went in alr..
We'll be missing you bro..
Hurry book out lah !!!
I miss thrashing you in dai di...
lol !!! =X
Ard 9pm headed down to airport to fetch jeremy..
Met up jon ben and xin yu and the gals from cell at T2..
Met joab they all at T2..
Received jeremy and we'r all making a big din at the airport...
Super funny lah...
Went home after that..
Oh yeah.. it was on this day baby patched back with me..
And she tricked me in the beginning..
And i bought it...
Fuck you are evil gal !!!
But still i love you.. =D
Okay.. finally can slp at ease from now on...

Wed :

Woke up like ard 12pm..

Ate lunch at home..

Msg dear for abit..

Could not get to meet her cuz she's having her day out with her sisters...

So went to meet delia, her fren and des...

Gina came after that...

Ate at sumo again !!!!

Second time in a week...

Then went to slack at some void deck...

Then delia and her fren went home..

The 3 of us went down to hub to wait for dear..

She jus ended her photoshoot at serangoon...

Met up dear and bus-ed down to her place for dinner...

Slacked awhile at her place and left ard 11pm..

Had to catch the last train..

Dun wanna waste $$$ on cabs le...

K lah, b4 i end this post here..

Jus wanna say...

Baby.. I really do treasure and appreciated you...

It's time we stop all our nonsense and move on...

Let bygones be bygones...

A fresh start benefits all...

And dun worry lah..

I won't touch anyone w/o any reason anymore...

A promise is a promise... =D

I'm alr starting a path of light..

It's time i leave the dark side..

Woah.. sounds super like star wars...

LMAO....

Star~

2009-03-09T13:24:00.002+08:00

The flame's dying...

This is our fate~

2009-03-09T01:24:00.005+08:00

Gal... I'm always trueful bout my feelings...

I try my best to give in..

Try my best to keep you happy...

I did almost the impossible..

Tolerated your temper..

I'm always there whenever you need me...

I did my job not only as a boyfren..

But tried my best to become one step ahead...

Wad happened jus now...

Could be avoided...

Had we been more careful with the choice of words...

Had you not lied bout your feelings...

Had you not joke about those stuff...

Everything could have turned out well...

Had i controlled..

Things would be better..

The Ryan now is no longer the old me...

I'm changing for you..

Jus hope u realise wad you are missing out now...

Take care...

2009-03-08T12:22:00.002+08:00

Sat :

Slept at like 10 plus am..

Woke up not long later at 1pm...

Suppose to meet gina and ( ___ ) =P

But in the end i was made to wait 40mins at hub..

Cuz gina who told me to meet at 2.20pm..

Left hus only realising it's 2.20pm alr...

SO SMART HOR !!!

then she went to get cigs for us...

So met up le.. waited for another dunno de fren come then headed for lunch..

Went suki sushi !!!!

HAHAS... SUPER FUNNY !!!

( ___ ) was like.. "woah this is my first time to such places.. "

Then happily playing with wasebi thru out lunch... =,=

Worst still.. someone said he/she is allergied to prawns but in the end...

The only thing he/she ate was prawns sushi... LMAO...

Then me and gina dun care le.. Jus ate and ate and ate..

as usual.. i had to finish some of gina's rice for her... =(

Lunch was okay... the wasebi in my sauce plate was like rather thick...

Teared while eating... =X

Then after a while me and gina went out for a smoke..

talked bout last time delia de tai ji...

Hey delia... dun ever join gang lah okay?

DUn even think about it....

Its not as beneficial as u might think it is...

Anyway.. after eating walked to hub... Then decided to catch a movie..

So watched PUSH* ...

Its so nice lah !!!

Gina mad one.. sit next to me keep laughing like even though its not funny lor..

=,=

After movie, wei and wawa and dog came... then ( ___ )'s frens came...

Slacked awhile.. THen after that they all left...

The remaining of us went to pei me eat dinner...

Halfway , yx and yl came...

Then went up to arcade... GM came...

GM ah... dunno how to say him...

First time see him guaii guaii de..

Now diao with us.. Become more and more paii...

Anyway... Went down to 700 slack awhile..

Wh came and i left...

Slacked awhile with wh at his blk then went home.. Watched 1 chinese show and fell asleep on the coutch.. Woke up at 8am this morning and realised.. So went into the room and fell aslp again..

So woke up not long ago only..

Smelly sia.. gonna wash up now..

cYA !!!!

Life~

2009-03-07T09:36:00.002+08:00

My mind's in a very blur state now...

It could be due to lack of sleep as i'v jus returned from a night till morning's poker game...

Or it could be becuz of sandrina...

All i could remember happened on friday was only sandrina..

Nth else but her..

Woke up in the afternoon..

Met her for lunch then acc her to bugis street to get eye lashes...

Sent her home then went to amk to look for the rest...

Waited for all to gather then went down to pasir ris...

Met sandrina then walked down to the pit together with gina....

All i could rmb was I was really jus happy to see her..

Nth else.. then wei wei came over and talked to us..

maybe she didn't like the idea of the talk but it's the past alr so....

Later walked to red house...

Nana went her halfway..

Wei wei got a little aggitated but i held him back due to smth...

Things are really i dunno how to discribe...

I think only gina and desmond and wei knows the best how i feel right now....

Saw something... couldn't get it off my mind although i was assured it was nth....

But the buay kum wan is still there...

Anyway.. cabbed down to nana's place to take ken's bag..

he left it in her bag and forgotten to take it back when she left...

Had a talk but dun think it was at all useful..

Then nana went home...

Cabbed home with gina... really troubled right now...

Dunno wad to do..

Think the best thing is to not do anything..

afterall, i'v alr tried my best....

Leave it to fate...

How i treat you ... How we spent the 1 month plus together...

You sld know better then anyone else..

And I jus hope we dun regret in the end....

Been this lifeless for the past 1 week since break up...

Really loved her alot..

But for now.. it's best i disappear from her life...

Wait till the storm's over then talk bah..

Haix...

Yao hao hao de ai yi ge ren hao nan...

2009-03-06T01:32:00.004+08:00

Baby i love you... i miss you alot... but i dare not ask for anything.. i can only wait now...

Photos :

I'm waiting for you.. waiting for the one and only you...

Better in time

2009-03-05T17:57:00.005+08:00

A part of me still seeks her heart..
A part of me wans to become a scare crow and jus wait for her...
A part of me misses her madly truely deeply...
But the other 1 part says no...
Wad's said is said...
After all.. i guess i've changed almost everything except 1...
The importance of my pride...
That's wad truely brought harm to that r/s...
Life as a individual... Wasn't that bad...
Been thru and done it... So.. i guess i know wad needs to be done..
And wad will come the next few days...
If there was ever a chance..
I'll made things right i hope... =X

Anyway, met up wei and des and wei's gan ma... She treated us suki sushi...
Ate like 42 plates all together...
Then walked ard central.. Went to find kai xin and chatted awhile...
Show her the bruises and video from last night...
She was shocked.. LOL.. but dun worry.. won't die one...
Alright.. wad to do now..
Life w/o a certain someone is really uneasy to get use to..
Jus got to keep reminding myself..
And hope that all will be BETTER IN TIME...

Alright.. meeting star later to talk again...

Thnx for always being there whenever i feel down and lonely..

Thnx for all the signs and encouragement you have given me...

W/o you.. i dun think i can even be here..

Anyway.. slight headache now.. They keep coming.. Nb..

think too much le bah.. Haix...

Ciao ~

I'm not

2009-03-04T23:06:00.003+08:00

I'm not the one for you...

We all know that now...

Find someone better..

Take care...

This should happen a long time ago....

泪水将我淹没

到底谁该难过

究竟是谁放掉这段感情

我才终于明白

奔不到的承诺就成了枷锁

现实中幸福永远缺货

请告诉她我不爱她

笑着难过自我惩罚

想终止这一切挣扎

狠了心说真心谎话

别告诉她

我还想她

恨总比爱容易放下

当泪水堵住了胸口

就让沉默代替所有回答

我才终于明白

奔不到的承诺

就成了枷锁

现实中幸福永远缺货

请告诉她我不爱她

笑着难过自我惩罚

想终止这一切挣扎

狠了心说真心谎话

别告诉她我还想她

恨总比爱容易放下

当泪水堵住了胸口

就让沉默代替所有回答

我不爱

我不痛

我不懂

我的心早已掏空

真心话言不由衷

请告诉她我不爱她

笑着难过自我惩罚

想终止这一切挣扎

狠了心说真心谎话

别告诉她我还想她

恨总比爱容易放下

当泪水堵住了胸口

就让沉默代替所有回答

别告诉她我还想她

就让沉默代替所有回答

Can we pull thru ???

2009-03-03T03:23:00.003+08:00

For those who are curious of the post and can't read it due to the colour.. Here's wad written..

This is the only way i can stop you from getting hurt.

I'm sorry if i have hurt you way too deep.

I've to behave this way so that you can totally give up on me.

I dun wish to drag you any longer although i wanted you back.

But i know you have no patience in waiting, so why drag you and make you suffer?

So i'll rather just end things straight to stop those pain.

Sorry, i love you.

darling.. this is wad i wanted you to tell me..

fOr once the truth from the bottom of your heart..

If i haven been this harsh on you..

I'll never knew wad your mind and heart is yearning for...

I'm really happy to see all these from you..

It shows that you really love and care for me..

to stop all these pain of mine,

you scarificed a hell lot..

I dun wan you to continue doing all these baby...

All i need and wanna hear from you is those 3 words..

Not i love you, cuz i know deep down you love me alot..

But ***.....

So come back to me baby...

I wanna take care of you my whole life if possible...

I wanna be the one who brave thru stormy seas with you..

I wanna be the one you can trust and rely on...

I love you..

And i'm sorry for doing wad i did today..

I am inpatience... yes..

But even so, my heart still shouts your name...

It's a heart that's still beating for you....

Let's end these ordeal pls....

But it's okay if you dun wanna come back...

Cuz after all... It's I who wanted to leave..

But deep down... I only knew only this way that i could make you spill out your secrets...

I'm sorry...

P.S. I love you.

Piorities...

2009-02-28T11:53:00.000+08:00

You would rather trust someone u jus got close with then someone u have been close to..
MY heart is urging me to let you go like you'v always wanted...
yet my mind is stopping me so...
I really dunno wad to do...
Die trying to get you back...
Or should i go?
.
.
Things didn't change for the better...
My hatred for that someone is to a extend where it cus my blood to boil..
To brothers you do such a thing...
To me, you killed off any hope...
Forget it...
forget it..
fOrget it.
.
.
WHERE DID THE YOU I KNEW GO????????????

Fren turn foe...

2009-02-28T05:33:00.004+08:00

I didn't even touch you..

Didn't even step on your tail...

Yet u stepped over mine...

Not only once..

But over and over again..

I knew you for how long??

A few months alr..

Felt that you are a worthy fren...

Today u proved me wrong..

Feeling guilty after reading this post of mine??

You sld know who you are...

The things u are doing...

Think i dunno???

You'r very lucky..

I'm really actually trying to control my emotion

while typing this post...

Its okay...

Now that i know wad kind of person you are...

You no longer have a place in my world...

We won't be laughing and joking like that past anymore...

And up to this point...

I'm close to giving up on my dream...

Because its so pointless losing sleep over wad YOU did....

you can do wad you wan but in my heart i'v alr fuck-cared you...

YOU are my fren turned foe....

HoYun, gwen, jon, thnx for comforting me today...

It was really apprecaited...

If not for u guys...

My day won't be made...

Warrens bowling team forever...

Miss the old days when aaron, pat, dan, joel, javier are ard...

Bowling used to be so much fun until.......

This year's inter club league...

Go for 1st guys..

U guys did great by clinging the 4th position..

Hope i can play a greater role this year....

-SHOULD I STAY-

Had a drive

Driven by your love

But when you messed around

I lost the drive I found

Thought you needed

Needed someone true

But you changed your mind

Or had I failed you?

Wish you’d been Careful with my heart

But you tore it apart

And broke an angel’s heart

The kiss was true

Has to end somehow

But I am livin’ proof of what love is about

It’s hard holding you

Loving you, losing you

It’s sad to be true

And be fooled by you

I don’t know (I don’t know)

I gotta know

Should I stay or should I go?

You played me on

Played me like a clown

But I feel for you

Eventhough I’m down

My heart is heavy

Heavy like a rock

But I am so amused

You’re still in my thoughts

It’s hard holding you

Loving you, losing you

It’s sad to be true

And be fooled by you

I don’t know (I don’t know)

I gotta know

Should I stay or should I go?

Oooohh…should I stay?

Should I go?

It’s hard holding you

Loving you, losing you

It’s sad to be true

And be fooled by you

I don’t know (I don’t know)

I wanna know

Should I stay or should I…?

This time its done

It’ll never feel the same

But we had some good times

Guess it’s sad just the same

I guess the truth

Doesn’t matter somehow

But you were livin’ proof of what love is about…

FRIDAY NOT THE 13TH YET...

2009-02-28T02:53:00.001+08:00

BBQ was great today..
The team bonded well and its really good to get everyone together..
Hoyun.. Australia yeah !! =D

Unreasonable

2009-02-27T17:43:00.000+08:00

It was jus a small matter and u made it a big deal...
Was it u jus trying to find fault at every single possible chance with me?
Or was it really my fault??

Like i said.. It was nvr my intention to shout at you over the phone..
You wanna be childish about it then there's really nth i can do...
This jus shows how much u love me..
Last night at your house...
You took me on a advanture ride...
It was great and things looked good..
But now... Great...
Sandrina.. The effort last night was the sincerity i tried to show...
You on the other hand..
Took me on a rollar coaster ride...
You wanna know wad sean tze and i talked about that time when i went over to his place??
It was about u then melody..
And he alr told me that you'r not the one..
Since u like to turn to yur fren's advise so much,
Then i shall follow suit..
There's no turning back after this one...
Shows how naive you are at handling this r/s...

Last night you also showed me something else...
You are getting used to life alr...
It seems that i'm the extra burden now...
Time for you to go back to the past b4 u know me...
Think u'll be happier this way..
This is where we part forever..
You said u dun think there'll be a next time talkin to me...
I respect that decision..
Take care..

Holidays are here...
Too bad have to enjoy alone...
Its okay.. at least now that she made it clear to me..
Being with me only make her frens distant her..
So w/o me.. i hope she'll be much happier..
Love someone.. got to let her go.. Very true.. =D
Alr, will be heading out for bbq at timah...
Was slacking with des, wei wei and delia..
Still at the end...
Its frens who are still ard..

2009-02-27T14:41:00.001+08:00

The feeling worsen. ..
I should have seen it coming...
Gary's hutch was right...
So i guess it's time....

=D

2009-02-27T05:56:00.003+08:00

Hey 123.. get a life instead of being anomynous...

You better not be one of my frens...

Be my fren still put your name as 123...

Throw face lah...

Hmmm...

End of papers...

Holiday here but like abit moodless leh...

Feel like eating meat..

lol...

Very random but like super hot up today..

Anyway...

Went eating with brothers at jalan besar..

Drank quite abit..

Then cabbed to find sandrina...

Talked things out but oh well..

We'll see...

Then went back to Geylang look for Gary and sebas...

Chit chat talk cock till like 4am..

Nb... Alot of secondary school days nonsense...

Hahahahass...

Jus got home...

Garena like cannot load leh...

Sianx.....

HEY 123, COME FIND ME LEH.. I VERY SIANX LEHH...

Very long nvr treat ppl eat fist liao leh...

COme find me lehh..

But i know u won't come de lah..

Write for song only..

Keyboard warriors..

Hahahahahas...

Very good.. fk off.. goodbye..

2009-02-26T00:48:00.005+08:00

The night u told me u heard things outside about me like another gal...
The moment u choose to believe wad u heard...
It's over...

I'll give you a explaination here..
Yes... there is a gal outside whom i like..
And i think u sld know who she is..
Non other then delia...
My eyes were set upon her the first time i met her...
and interest grew....
And i did wanna jio her...
But look, i told myself...
And a few others...
That i have sandrina...

And i love her alot...

I'm really happy being wif her with no regrets..
I won't do a foul play like that...
I'm not a bastard who plays or cheats on my own very girlfren...
I call her names like darling, bao beii..
But which gal outside whom i know of didn't get the same treatment from me...
Ask si xiu, ask yiying, ask gina, ask hui yu, ask abby...
And alot more...
Its obvious its a habit of calling gals i'm close with...
But we all knew i am jus playing ard..
Its nth close to serious..
Nth close to how serious i am with u, sandrina...
But u chose to believe those words from Dunno who and u think i'm a player now...
Come on lah.. ppl who knows me long enough know wad kind of person i am..
I maybe claiming i wan this gal i wan that gal all the time..
But since when did anyone in this whole fking world witness me cheat on my gf b4??
If there's any i will deifinitely allow u to do wadever u wan me to do..
Be ur slave or dog or wadever... I'll do it...
BUT IS THERE ANYONE !!??
I can tell u no...
Alright.. Since u dun trust me no longer..
There's no need for me to ask u to stay...
Wei wei... i'm sorry but i know u meant me well that's why u keep talking me out of it...

Asking me to not regret bout my decision..

I did thot bout it and i really wan her back...

But its too late now...
Cuz there are jus certain ppl who are KNNCCB father die mother die wanna interfere with my r/s...
You all know who u are lah hor...
Buay song lai lah... BLK 352 lim bei wait here for u..

Ccb...

U come dun kill me u better run as ar as u can... Pu bor...

And regarding delia.. I wanna make it clear to every single one..
She's my gan mei and that's final...

Me and her are jus frens...

Nth more will come out between us...
aNYone buay song can come find me lah...
i WAit for u... Lai !!!
Ccb. _l_

Alright.. i'll end this post with...
Time to be single and free.. It's time to play...
Tml's my last paper and i got no fking mood to fking study for it.. so i'll jus leave it to fate...
If i fail, i'm out of school and into NS i will....
If i pass good.. i finish and grad with a diploma...

Ciao and..

Sandrina, i still love you alot..
But now i dunno how things will end up...

Be it tgt or not...

I jus wan you to know...

It's really a diff experience wif u compared to anyone else in this world...

you'r really special to me...

Sigh~

Where are you??

2009-02-25T11:52:00.000+08:00

I realised after norine..
Nth last..
=(

Exams

2009-02-20T00:09:00.003+08:00

Stress !!!

Sorry baby..

Sorry for acting very weird and strange over the past few days..

Haven been studying for my papers and

therefore keep venting my stress and anger on you..

Sorryyyy !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Exam paper 1 tml.... =(

Haven really studied... omg.. less then 12 hours b4 paper starts..

STRESS !!!

You are my one and only ~

2009-02-15T13:37:00.002+08:00

Happy Valentine !!!!

It's been a while since i spent valentines day with someone.. And all i wanna say is I enjoyed alot !!! Thanks baby for making everything go so smoothly.. The act at the station when u alr saw me, Dinner, and everything at pasir ris park. =D Love them all !!!!

Woke up quite late in the morning due to previous night's tonning at cb Mac's with the boys and yi ying. Gary, raymond and Kai quan came to look for us... Its a surprise that we hang out almost every now and then cuz we dun use to talk alot... But anyway back to valentine's day.. Arranged to meet darling at 5.30pm, slacked at hub with li ping, then trained down to PS to meet sandrina. Sorry was half an hour late.. Sorry !! :'( Walked to Grand Cathey, wanted to watch a movie but couldn't find a suitable timing.. So decided to grab some food first since we'r both hungry.. Went up to 4th floor Aston's but the queue is ridicularously long.. So cabbed down to cine for pasta mania cuz darling had a crave out of a sudden.. Wasn't an issue cuz i love pasta mania, i swear i really love them alot.. And they decided to gift me.. Guess wad i got from them?? Cannot guess right ah?? K lah.. i'll say.. a strand of hair in my pasta.. =PP Well, before i said anything dear got the waitress to change a plate for me le.. LOL... that was fast.. initially wanted to feast till like left half a plate then complain Cuz i was DAMN hungry.. But oh well... So after eating went window shopping at taka and wisma..

Dear ah !! Control !!! Dun see liao jiu yao mai.. Have a thot for ur bank lah.. i know u are rich now.. but also not like that spend one mah.. Plus ur closet and shoe racks are alr full to the brim.. I'm gonna teach you how to spend ur money wisely, so listen up.. =D

First, go to the atm and press the bank transfer selection.. Then transfer all ur money to my acc... =D Ta daa ~~ Jus kidding.. =,="

Kay, so before we left town to find wei wei des they all in bishan, had a smoke outside wisma and got a valentine's day balloon for dear.. I didn't know how badly she wants a balloon but i thot it was cute and sweet so decided to get her one.. Glad u love it and the flowers but too bad they'r both ken's stead now.. LOL... Cuz after we met them bus-ed down to pasir ris park.. Ken is hogging to the flower and balloon.. think he alr turn crazy for gals le.. The whole clique slacked at the rocks near pit 1.. Sang songs, took photos, look at the scenery, its quite romantic to actually jus sit there with dear and them and jus look out at the sea.. It fills the heart with a type of warmness and peace the mind from any troubles..

At ard 12am, we left pasir in 3 cabs due to some reason which is better off if i dun mention.. Everyone's mood changed and it wasn't exactly how i wanted my valentine's day to end but oh well.. I cabbed with dear, gina and hui yu while the rest splited up in other cabs.. Sent dear home then went to downtime to look for the rest.. Nth much happened there, played left 4 dead after late supper with gary, yi ying and shawn.. Hui yu had no money to cab home and we all didn't have much on us.. So eventually she decided to bus home.. Slacked till 6am and i really buay dong liao.. so left with shawn, kap cab home.. It was then i realised i left my hus key with dear.. So forgetful sia.. But still someone opened the door for me.. Thanks to that someone cuz i really am too tired to even bother see who it is.. LOL.

Alright.. i'll end my post with thanks darling for getting me another bottle of perfume.. Soon i'll be able to have a garauge sales and acution my perfumes.. =P HAHAS... jkjk... Alright, going to look for dear at her workplace soon.. love you baby !!!

Muackx !!!

Photos :

Pls refer to sandrina's blog for photos.. Too lazy to post.. LOLS.. =P

07/02/02

2009-02-08T14:23:00.003+08:00

It's gonna be one of the best birthday party i ever had... it was totally awesome.. I wanna thnx all those who came.. U guys made my day man.. All the fun we had last night.. its really incredible.. Luv you all and special credits to my gf for planning and helping out ... love you lots gal !! And to all my brothers who came down.. You guys rock !!!

Extracted from sandrina's blog :

Yesterday, after sending Jade to Royston's place from "baby-sit" I rush back to pack up, and rush off to uncle's place. From uncle's place, rush down to Ryan's party. From Ryan's party, rush down to Century Square's Jack's Place with Wen Hui. From there, we rush back to the party. Then, then cake cutting starts at about 9+pm (20/02) as Ryan dont wan the cake to turn soft. After then, Ryan got drunk and *poof* Off he goes, NAP TIME!till 1+am, he woke up and he's alright already. But then, Ken and one of Ryan's female friend got drunk. Of course, all of us enjoyd last night's fun. Yes, im like a mad woman. rushing here and there. Busy taking care of the guest and those drunk ones. *phew* A sweetest nightmare afterall. (L)Pictures:
ugly -.- Fine, i forced him to smile His Cake
The group
Brothers of his
Alright, they're lame like.... donkey

Couple , couple

Such a nice request from nana*

Cake sliced by Sean
With strawberry in his mouth. And ppl shout, " EH, THE STRAWBERRY DE LEAVE CANNOT EAT ONE!" Drunk

HELLO, THANKS FOR COMING TO MY RESCUE THAT DAY!When he's awake after 12am. Which is like two hours after his nap from those liquor?The Nerd and blind
The bash (; Girl: i dont wanna drink...
Guy: C'mon, just drink. Girl: Please... i dont wan the drink
Guy: I TELL YOU TO DRINK LAAA...
..
..
Laugh, im just kidding. The girl was drunk and the guy is asking her to drink the cup of warm water. Lol.

Sandnana's my life ~

2009-02-04T03:27:00.003+08:00

It's been a while~~~ Hahas.. my msg tone..
Haven blogged for a long time i realised..
Been rather busy trying to force myself to wake up in time for sch,
busy with CNY and also my bbq planning.. Lots of things to do and yet so little time..

Everything in life is great and awesome currently.. Having fallen back into the city of love.. Hahas..
Jus hope this one can weather the storms which the others didn't managed to.. Oh yeah.. once again its my bday bbq party at pasir ris park 1 pit 13.. If ya free do come down and have some fun.. food and drinks will be provided of cuz.. And paying for all these burnt off like nearly half my ang bao money.. =/ But its okay lah.. After all i'm 19 going 20.. Into the next phase of life..

Looking back at wadever that has happened for the past 6 mths.. I'm surprised at how easily things come and go and believe me there ain't any regrets at all.. Not meant to be then so be it.. No point keep thinking bout the past unless u'r really a retard.. ( But gal.. this doesn't apply to ur case.. I definitely will find him and when that day comes.. It'll be one hell of a day for him... )
Am jus really glad that all those decisions and choices were made.. If not i won't have met the ppl ard me now...

I love my life,
I love my gal,
I love my bros,
And last but not least, my family.. =D

Really afraid of the day when my 2 closest kin leaves me... ='(

Photos :

@ nana's relative place bai nian

@ City alive with joab and company

when u win some , u lose some too~

2009-01-19T22:29:00.006+08:00

2 days before sam leaves SG... A dear fren, a true brother who has been thru thick and thin with me for almost over 10years... Now we'll all gonna miss him again..

Friday:

Actually wanted to pon sch cuz dear's coming to AMK to meet me.. But due to the super important presentation from 3pm - 5pm... so couldn't pon... after sch met up with hh and alan and lolo.. then cabbed back to amk.. By the time i got back dear alr reach hub le so went there to fetch her to my place for maths tution.. study awhile and then slack.. Went to sumo house which happens to be dear's all time favourite in the past.. Then walked back home to meet wei wei they all as they were all playing basketball at 350 court.. slack for abit more b4 sending dear to get a cab home...

Sat :

Dear came over my place for late breakfast.. then she fell asleep on my bed.. pig sia !!! LOL.. anyway, studyied abit more after she woke up.. Then halfway my frens called me to join them for street soccer.. Dear came along and waited for me.. Patiently she was waiting by the side for me.. Sorry hor.. have to make u wait under the hot sun.. left early.. went home showered then headed to town for dinner.. initially wanted to have pasta mania at far east but the queue is so fucking long.. oh.. saw felicia and min min there.. Tmd.. damn suay.. everywhere i go also see her.. suay sia... iTs like a freaking curse.. Christmas, new year and now again.. anyway, went to paragon to look up sebas and catch up abit.. and since we'r there.. we settled dinner at swensons.. Didn't have to wait long for our seats though its as crowded.. After dinner went to cine to slack.. then send baby to the mrt while i cabbed down to sam's.. All the boys were there.. i could hardly remember when the last time was since we last gathered everyone.. Was really fun.. bought 30 cans of tiger.. 12 for sam and we splited the rest.. Then more of his local frens from sec skol came over.. 1 brought martell.. so we helped ourselves to it.. lols... Then went most of the other clique is gone, the boys from church and i went up to sam's for our guy's talk.. It's been a long while man since we last did wad we did.. and jon went totally crazy.. turned into a gay.. was touching me and ben the whole time.. fuck.. k so anyway... slept at the coutch downstairs till next morning and bus-ed home...

Sun:

Didn't sleep at all after shower... Was like on the com playing poker all the way till noon.. this game has gotten me addicted.. like totally.. can spend my whole day jus playing poker... Oh oh.. my sister bought 2 hamsters.. lols.. At first i thot my mum told me they are gonna get hampers.. then when i called them again they were at the pet shop.. so i was thinking to myself wad the hell are they doing in the pet shop.. got sell hampers there meh? or they making pet hampers.. lols.. k lah.. i heard wrongly.. is hamsters.. not hampers.. Ard 4 pm went to marine parade to look for dear at roxy square her workplace.. jade is there as well.. went there to acc them cuz dear say like got no customers.. So practically slacked there and played with jade while dear was doing extensions for her godsis.. After work.. acc dear to the marine parade market for dinner.. Then went to the pet shop to look at pets.. then cabbed to dear's place... Slacked there till like 10 plus then to town to look up sam and sniff, his cousin... Also there were steward and champs and sarah.. dunno if i got there names right.. k.. so went over to steward's to slack.. drank like 4 glass and was pretty seh alr.. vomitted abit.. was okay after that.. played wii.. bowling and another stupid game.. was damn lame lah... then ordered macs.. and we got the delivery guy to get us cigs as well.. lol.. paid him tips of cuz.. went home at ard 5am..

today :

Stayed home and rest the whole day due to not feeling very well.. Didn't go for my re-test.. =/
oh well.. k lah.. going downstairs for a cig break.. haven smoked the hole day.. feeling abit gao wei... dear.. dun stress too much k??? Do ur best can le.. !! I'm always here.. =D *hugs!!

Breaking free~

2009-01-12T03:12:00.002+08:00

Sat:

Initially the plan was to visit certain Poly with certain people.. but kanna put aeroplane.. So nvm, Stayed home and helped do abit of hus-work like mopping the floor and cleaning the sofa... Then got changed and went down to town to meet Sandrina. Practically the whole 1 hr plus was jus an escort for her and her sis and cousin.. Went ard Far east, then to Lido.. Went off to look for wei and gina who happens to be in town for a job interview at some hotel..

Slacked outside with them, and decided to head back to Amk. On the way back, Nana and me went to Novena to look up jon.. who was ever eager to meet nana.. LOL.. so slacked abit there b4 heading down to look for the rest.. Then chua called and ask me over to sam's.. Went to hub and slacked with the rest of them for abit b4 heading to sam's. Had a couple of drink, with an empty stomach. Till a point where i couldn't take it, Nana offered to drink in my place.. ThNx gal.. =D

Was pretty much seh alr so sent her home b4 heading home.. Got into some trouble but it's solved so... Slept at 5am, 4 hours later i was up again and heading to warrens for the team selection roll-off.. Did an average of 173. Was pretty bad.. =(

Darling's facing some problem now.. Its sad but girl.. Take care of urself really.. I'm sort of worried for u at times.. Went home after the selection.. Rested till 6pm b4 heading down to Parkway there to look for dear.. She's working at Roxy Square.. Went with her and her god sis to PP to get her heels.. Happy gal now ah darling.. Hahas.. someone's as tall as me now wor.. Sianx.. no more shoulders to rest on ler.. Hahas.. after that went to a pub and had a couple of drinks as well.. Her godsis later sent me home.. Thanks a million for the lift.. Really appreciated.. Went to look for des and dason.. Ate at their place.. watched them dota and di siao them for abit b4 heading off to meet jon.. Slacked a little.. had a nice little talk.. Still things are kinda complicated but i hope its not as bad as i think it is..

Took last bus home, chatted with dear and cheryl for abit b4 wawa came to look for me.. Slacked till 3am and we both headed home.. Am really tired now.. Think i'll head to bed for a nice rest.. Ciao ppl..

Nana and me at sam's place..

PHOTOS !!

2009-01-09T00:24:00.003+08:00

Not really in a mood to blog... But sch's really wearing me off hard.. Jus wanna share some photos.. Enjoy =D

Some pics i took when locked out of hus on New year day..

The Boys !!! Jie hua, yu long, yu xiang, guang ming, me , des, xuan ru, wei wei, dason.

(Top to btm, Left to right)

The gang whom celebrated New year's Eve countdown with me.. I love them all..

The peeps who went bonkas with me in town !!! Boys !!!

My face is blocked... =/

Rather cute i find~ =D

2009-01-05T12:30:00.000+08:00

Two tear drops were floating down the river.

One teardrop said to the other, "Im the teardrop of a girl who loved a man and lost him.
Who are you?"

"Im the teardrop of the man who regret letting a girl go.."

She teardrop consoled, "There would come a time when we have to stop loving someone because we found out that they'd be happier if we let them go..."

He teardrop replied, "But then you'll know that you miss someone very much when every time you think of that person, your heart breaks into pieces and just a quick 'Hello' from that person brings the broken pieces back..."

she teardrop said, "It's really painful to say goodbye to someone else that you don't want to let go; but it's even more painful to ask someone to stay if you can never make the relationship work out the way it should be."

She continued, "LOVE? It's kind of complicated, but I'll tell you this.. The second you're willing to make yourself miserable to make someone else happy, that's love right there.."

He teardrop pondered and said, "You know, if I had the letters "HRT", I can add "EA" to get a "HEART" or a "U" and get "HURT".

But I'd rather choose "U" and get "HURT" than have a "HEART" without "U"..

She teardrop smiled and replied, "Giving someone all your love is not an assurance that he will love you back. Don't expect love in return, wait for it to grow in her heart, if it doesn't, be contented it grows in yours."

He teardrop continued, "She told me once, do not be too good, I will miss you. Don't be too caring; I might like you. Don't be too sweet; I might fall for you."

She teardrop smiled and said, "A heart truly in love never loses hope but always believes."She teardrop continued, "If you love her please let her know because it hurts to love when you have to go. Take care of me; don't go away because if you love me, you will stay.. I love you and do you know why? You got me when you first said Hi..

He teardrop said, "You are brave she teardrop, now I know it's always better to have found the courage to love even if you lose it in the end rather than never found love because you were too afraid of the challenge."

He teardrop continued further, "Did you know that the expression "Nothing" is the subconscious mind's way of saying I Love You.. That's what I do, I told her NOTHING and because of that I lost her even though I love her.. I cry for the time that she was almost mine, I cry for the memories I've left behind, I cry for the pain, the lost, the old and the new. I cry for the times I thought I had her!"

She teardrop consoled, "Relationships are like glass, sometimes it is better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together, or worse, have nothing strong to bind it together. You never lose in loving. You only lose in holding back."

He teardrop cried, "Now I know, I have learned. Don't throw your back to love when it's already in front of you, don't drive it away from you because if you did, someday you'll think again why you let love fly away when it was once next to YOU..."

Deja vu~

2009-01-05T00:35:00.003+08:00

Agony, Pain, Struggles, Torments.... and the list goes on....

If ya think u'r going thru it alone, think twice...

Had this urge to shout out loud 2 words....

FUCK LIFE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A slight make-over...

New Year's Eve ~

2009-01-03T18:47:00.002+08:00

You know wad? New year eve this year was awesome.. THe fireworks, the atmosphere... and the ppl that went with us to the countdown.. It totally rocks !!! And the spraying fun i had with joab and company in town.. Followed by knowing Mel.. Everything jus gets better.. Alright.. this is a rough post.. will edit it and hopefully throw in a few photos as well...

Sam's party last night was totally wicked sick man.. So many fun loving peeps and awesome guys with no alcohol drinking limits.. Jon, joab and ben are fking smokers as well.. OMG... wad is this world coming to.. LMAO.. Invited mel and really was a enjoyable night at sam's place.. Guess it'll be the last party for a long time.. =( Will miss him man.. Alright.. heading out for dinner now with wen hui then busing down to sam's for basketball.. Ciaoz!

Fellow christians~

2008-12-31T05:25:00.002+08:00

Monday :

Watched Twilight and yesman online.. LMAO.. was pretty alright both movies... Watched abit of the star wars as well but was reallly tired so headed to bed.. Sleeping timings were freaking irregular... Like for instance, i jus woked up.. Like wad the fish ?? Hmmmm... guess i'll be slacking ard and dota-ing i guess for the next 18hours or so b4 countdown in town with the dudes... Anyway back to monday, Met up with wen hui for abit ard evening time.. Been a long time since i last saw him.. Hahas.. and this sudden urge to cut and dye my hair came forth, so went to the place where he normally cuts... Its way cheaper and the lady is freaking frenly.. hahsa.. Now my hair's copper brownish.. Wasn't really wad i wanted but it'll do...Jus needed to get out of my black which looks so dull and bored..

Anyway... Tuesday was pretty much as slack as monday.. Jus that in the evening went to visit the JPI transformer camp which is in Bourna Vista.. Dad sent me there and went with with the rest.. The camp site is at NACLI for ur info.. Was a pretty cool hostel looking place and the rooms as awesomely huge.. Like fits in 5 easily.. Saw many ppl whom i'v nvr seen for a long time.. Whew~ Wad a sight... Was really excited to see them and wanted to stay longer and have a chat with them but due to time constrain.. Anyway, will be able to do that in church next weekend i hope.. Some peeps i haven seen for a long time, Nicole, sarah, charrisia, Natalie, yi sin, gen ting, alot more lah.. roughly 80 campers and most faces are farmiliar but like really haven talked to them for ages... Looking at them, jus brings back memories i had in previous camps with them...
So anyway, went off with ben and xin yu... bus-ed to Jurong east and then from there bus-ed to tp.. went to find wei wei and wawa.. Haven seen them for days as well.. Not much in dota as well.. Feels like i'm drifting but oh well... one step at a time..

Another piece of good news... I'v quitted smoking.. Not totally. but u know, trying hard.. haven touched a cig for like 2 days alr.. Not much strugglings though.. that i'm really surprised.. But its good news.. =D

NY Eve countdown will be awesome !!!

Reunion

2008-12-29T01:47:00.002+08:00

Friday :

Didn't really sleep that night.. cuz i woke up at 11pm.. So basically wad i did was dota-ed till 2am.. went out to meet wei they all.. Slacked till 4am.. then walked home with dog.. Then we dota-ed again.. LOL.. LIFELESS SIA !!!! hAix... everyday dota.. KNN.. wtf man.. and yet i'm still a noob.. Zzz... Anyway.. dota-ed and smoked while i slacked alone at my corridor, which is wad i normally do at night cuz no one else is sane enough to be awake at that time.. Till ard 9am.. Parents drove me to commonwealth for the usual sat morning street soccer.. I haven been going for a long time and many were surprised to see me there.. Reflexs with abit off.. dribbling were shitty.. and practically i called it a waste of the morning there.. But its alright.. had some workout is better then nth.. So went home.. iniatilly wanted to attend church but was too beat alr.. fell onto bed and slpt till like 11pm AGAIN !!! lmao !!! So practically nite has became my day and day's now my night.. =X

Anyway.. didn't sleep as well... cuz was meeting abby in town at 1pm.. Planned like weeks back before she left the country to watch twilight.. and she's gonna watch it again with me for a second time.. but when we reached there... Cine, we changed our minds at the last min and decided to watch Bedtime stories.. I'm like wth is that... lols.. but in the end its a pretty damn good show.. Hahass... Damn hilarious and touching though.. =D

After that we took a train to the cathay where she's working... Sat outside at the starbucks area and chatted bout her problems and i got abit over reacted to the situation i guess.. well anyway.. i jus hope that she can get herself out of it.. and alll the best.. =D

I left at ard 6pm as i have another christmas dinner to attend.. this time family.. So train-ed down to jurong.. then bus-ed to my uncle's.. Tot i would be the lastest but i turned out to be the earliest... LOL.. if i had knew i would have stayed longer and chatted more.. But oh well.. ate a great feast over there and received loads of presents...There's gifts like watches, body spray, perfume, a couple of tees, and choc cookies.. Well.. Though i did received presents after all... i still think this year's christmas suxs... I dunno why but it jus sux shit...

Alright.. think i'll head to bed.. Next post will be on NY eve.. =D

Part of you indefinitely ~

2008-12-28T01:39:00.005+08:00

ALWAYS BE MY BABY

We were as one babe
For a moment in time
And it seemed everlasting
That you would always be mine

Now you want to be free
So I'm letting you fly
Cause I know in my heart babe
Our love will never die
No!

You'll always be a part of me
I'm a part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby

I ain't gonna cry no
And I won't beg you to stay
If you're determined to leave girl
I will not stand in your way
But inevitably you'll be back again
Cause ya know in your heart babe
Our love will never end no

You'll always be a part of me
I'm part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby

I know that you'll be back girl
When your days and your nights get a little bit colder oooohhh
I know that, you'll be right back, babe
Ooooh! baby believe me it's only a matter of time

You'll always be a part of me
I'm part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my my baby....

You'll always be a part of me (you will always be)
I'm part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on (we will linger on....)
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby

this goes out to no one... =D

Texas Hold 'em !!

2008-12-26T04:32:00.002+08:00

Oh god !!! I'm really frankly speaking a talent in Poker... God.. when was the last time i actually lost money ??? Previous 2 poker sessions with the boys were like a huge massacre.. Last sat night i won like $110 if u rmb.. Last night at sam's house gathering cum christmas dinner party, i won like $18 bucks.. its little compared to the previous one.. BUT ! wAit a min.. I'll jus briefly go thru wad happened.. The standard buy-ins were $20 bucks each.. And u get chips in dinorminations of 20 cents, 50 cents, a dollar and 2... So, during the first 6 rounds or so.. I lost everything.. It is seriously that fast.. So i bought in another $20 bucks.. Meaning i'm in debt of $40 dollars.. And guess wad.. My cards were pocket 9s... So i was thinking.. maybe i should bank in on my hands... I raised 50 cents to test the water and well.. many ppl fell for it... Sensing no danger.. I raised to like $6 bucks after the flop... Know why? Cuz the flop cards were 9,10,10... i was like WTF !!! I flopped a full house... Sweettttttttt !!!!!!!!!!!! Joab.. who also had good cards.. called me.. The "call" we use here is not like calling eaching other and talking.. It means he follows the raise.. and add $6 bucks into the pot.. My eyes were blinking, cuz i know that after throwing $6bucks down.. It'll be a lose lose situation to fold ur cards.. So i called for an ALL-IN.. Which was $20 bucks... Can't believed i actually had the fortune to all-in the moment i bought back into the game.. =D

And joab called me.. Money money money is all u can see in my eyes now.. =D The turn and the river card was quite useless.. And therefore Joab, who flopped triple 10 on the flop lost... And instantly in 1 round i won back wad i lost the previous 6 rounds.. Its awesome man.. This is jus one of my many mircle comeback stories.. There was also a pot where there were bout close to $80 bucks.. And i won it.. Purely luck i can say.. But even so, u need the freaking guts to put up that much money man... Alright.. think i made poker sound like damn fun.. It is fun.. but its dangerous if the amount keeps increasing.. Who knows 1 day we'll be playing a $200 dollar buy-in game.. =P

That's the life we have.. I'm sorry if u think i'm someone who wastes money like water.. It's not the case.. I prefer to spend money on entertainment rather then self-desires, for example, bags, clothes, watches, phone... Nah.. those are wad i call a waste of money actually..

Anyway... 31 Dec 08 is the siloso beach party !!! Any ladies wanna go? Cuz i figured it'll be quite lonely if i'm the only one there without a date amoung all my frens... Let me know yeah !! The tickets i dun mind paying for !! =D

HAVE a pleasant New year my frens !!! =))

X'mas ~ the worst x'mas ever !

2008-12-25T01:43:00.002+08:00

Went town ard 10pm with des, das,wei, gm, shawn,wawa, mel, xiao bai, wen lin, another gal whom i didn't get hold of the name but happens to know her bday is on the 3rd Jan lols.. and practically we were jus walking up and down town aimlessly.. Ppl were spraying with their spray cans everywhere.. We kanna a few quite serious ones where i totally was covered in white foam.. Most serious one was me and xiao bai went to buy sprays and got attacked.. nth we can do.. =( Anyway.. beat up this banglah.. almost had a few more fights but got held back by the gals cuz i was leading the way mah.. dun wan to let the gals kanna anything.. Headed back to AMK at ard 1am and here i am at home.. blogging.. like wtf.. compared to last christmas and 2 christmas ago.. this is fking boring.. Fk... Its like u'r yearning to have someone there to celebrate with ya.. someone who fits into the picture, someone who can at the very least produce a smile on my face.. But i guess right now there's no one like that.. GOD.... today is ur bday.. happy bday my dear lord..

Ltr dunno if shawn's chalet still on anot.. now standby at home waiting for his call.. And i'm hungry.. only eaten 1 meal today so far.. Haix.. my dining time's all screwed up.. Hmm.. guess that's all for now.. CiAo...

You can't accept it??
Last time round u told me there's someone else there..
That's why i chose to leave..
Now u tell me its dead...
Let me correct you..
It's not dead but its free...
Free to love and free to be loved once more...
But i guess u lack no guys ard u to chose from..
That's wad i hate most bout gals...
But oh man.. It's over now..
Finally.. Tot i needed more time to get over it...
But surprises, surprises, surprises..
You ain't that impt anymore..
And getting that straight made things alot easier..
So much more...
And i guess there's no point in waiting till the next christmas..
Wad i expect next christmas..
Is wad i'm gonna focus on doing...
To make christmas feels like christmas...

=D

Christmas Expecations

2008-12-23T13:20:00.002+08:00

Holidays are boring.. can't wait for sch to re-open.. Anyway.. the past few days have been very very tiring.. Alot of stuff to do.. Hanging out and bumbing ard.. Oh.. won like $110 bucks from poker on sat night and another $70 on soccer bettings.. but guess wad.. i'v spent every single bit of them alr.. LOL.. of cuz on presents... Think nothing much to buy anyway other then wei that group and prob some really old buddies of mine and of cuz her's... =D

Can't wait for thursday !!! It's christmas man !!! And that means she's coming back !! =D

This christmas... Its not gonna be the way i expected it to turn out but of cuz.. if anyone's making life difficult for me, i'll make it easy for myself..

Hopefully it'll be family dinner at some hotel.. Then meet up with wei wei that group.. Still pondering on whether should i go down to golden mount.. Heard from wei sheng Lao Shu invited all the brothers down to drink and celebrate.. But that'll will be decided tonight i guess.. Then prob will ton in town.. follow up by shawn's aunt's chalet.. Which we all will be staying over at.. Dad came back this morning and gave me $500 bucks to spend for christmas gifts and wadever fun that's gonna cost me but i guess will save up that bit of money for other purposes..

Looking forward to the almost cfm-ed trip to japan.. then followed by a immediate transit to australia alone.. Gonna look up sam over there.. Hope everything turns out fine..

I'll end this post with a Merry X'mas to everyone..
Will be in touch soon..
Ciao..

Ni Yi Ding Yao Hen Xin Fu ~

2008-12-11T17:26:00.000+08:00

Taking some time off study to update this pathetic blog of mine which no one visits... Ermm... Currently in the midst of my common tests.. Its 3 tests in 3 days.. Now's the second alr.. Done jus okay for the papers.. Erm.. Still preparing for my last paper which is tmr.. I guess its really do or die this semester.. Anyw, let's talk abit bout ytd..

After my paper, bought lunch home to eat.. Was reading online manga recently, Naruto series.. Hmmmm.. getting back the feeling alr.. It's been like years since i last touch anime.. The last time i watched 1 was like a year ago when i broke up with norine.. Since then i'v stopped watching.. Didn't manage to finish bleach as well.. =C Anyw, read for like a couple of hours then fell aslp unknowingly.. Guess i was really shagged.. Hahas.. nvr felt this tired b4 for a long time as well... Woke up from my afternoon nappy ard 5-6pm.. Ate dinner at home then went out to Gardens mac to study.. Studied from 10pm till 12.30am.. Originally planned to study till next morning then go sch for exam str8 but then unexpectly finished all my revisions le.. So went to find wei wei.. Heard from Gina that they going prawning so decided to tag along.. Went to find wawa after that then yiying, then des.. On the way there, they koped like 2 bikes.. Halfway xuan ru called and came along.. Oh oh.. shawn too.. LOL.. knn.. shawn whole night keep asking me for cigs.. machiam i santa claus.. Knn.. bought a full pack at 1am.. Finished it ard 7am.. And i had less then 10 sticks myself... =,=

Reached the prawning farm, gm and dason came after awhile.. Then harris came to look for me.. LOL.. cuz we were walking past SPC and he lives the next block so i called him and jio-ed him along.. Didn't do much prawning cuz i didn't chip in for the rods.. Ended up chatting happily away with harris.. Kept disturbing yiying during that whole time.. LOL.. poor ah lian... =P So they rented 2 rods.. and they caught like 20 over prawns.. The prawns that day kan pau small size lor.. Ccb... Did the usual, BBQ-ed and ate.. Wawa and i had trouble starting the fire.. Even dog also.. NPCC de leh.. Diaos~ so i tried and tried but to no avail.. So the ppl there came over to help and finally we got our fire started.. LOL.. Ate and drank and slacked there till 8am.. Dog had to go work and i had to prepare for my paper at 11am.. Was damn shagged when i got home.. Slept for like 1 hr then got to go shower le.. Was late alr.. so took a cab down to sch... Costed me freaking $10... Haix.. bo bian.. money goes very quickly now.. no more fianacial assistant le mah.. =X

k lah.. heading to gardens mac again tonight to revise.. For now.. think i'll dota 1 game.. Haven touched dota for the past 24hrs le.. Abit not used to it.. Hahahas.. BUT STILL !!! i'M abit sick of it.. =S

Ciao~

The bond feels broken..
The heart feels cold..
Someone's leaving tmr..
Guess it's goodbye..
Take care and enjoy..

Guess i'll nvr find out wad that 4 letter meant..
Prob thinking too much again.. =/

Life is too short, live it to ur fullest~

2008-12-07T16:13:00.004+08:00

Sat :

Went out ard 4plus to meet wei and gm at hub.. Waited for des, das, jun kang and yi ying to come.. Ate at the lvl 3 food court.. Paid bloody $2 for jus a red ruby.. Ultimate scammage !!! LOLS... Then slack ard hub.. didn't know wad to do.. Oh oh.. went to the bridge for a smoke.. Left 2 cigs.. so 1 for me and 1 for des.. jus nice.. smoking halfway.. i di siao our ah lian yiying asking her wan smoke anot.. Not bearing the consequence, she took it and threw down into the drain below.. I was like WTF !!!! My last stick eh !!! Its like a full stick lah !!!! Chao ah lian !!! Argh !!!!! Nvr mind.. forget it.. Des stang with me in the end.. Wanted to watch movie.. the wawa show but no nice timings.. I so wanted to watch so many movies lah!!! Wawa show, qurantine, the day the world still stands, twilight !!! So many nice movies to watch.. but no one to watch with.. Haix...

Anyw, decided to go play pool at champions.. Took a bus from hub there.. Reached there.. i was busy msging my bao bei on the phone and didn't notice they were going to check out the prawning thing.. so silly me walked towards champions and then ended up they had to shout for me to come.. LOL.. Wasn't very crowded on a sat evening so we decided to rent 2 rods.. Des damn zai lah... master degree in prawning i think.. LOL.. He alone caught 4... And i caught 2.. Wei caught 1 !!!! =P Wasn't as easy as we thot.. cuz all first timers mah.. so dunno how to catch.. the most funny part is when we going to bbq the prawns.. We didn't wash them.. Neither did we poke the satay stick into them to bbq.. we simply jus toss them onto the bbq grill.. And the prawns were flipping everywhere.. noob sia us !!! Then we notice some ppl washing the prawns and how they do everything swee swee.. Copy lor.. LOLS.. took the bbq-ed halfway de prawns to the basin and start washing them.. LOLS... Then poke.. we only had 8 prawns. jus nice 1 each.. But then suddenly des came back with a bucket with about 20 plus prawns.. Cuz there got 1 regular.. a uncle.. he damn pro at prawning.. caught like 60 odd prawns alone in 3 hrs.. LOL.. noob us !!!! Only had 8 !!!! So w/o hesitation, they started washing, salting the prawning and i'm taking care of bbq-ing the prawns,... Swee lah.. got dinner le !!! After bbq-ing them, we took them up to the pub on lvl 2.. Then ordered satay and 2 bottles of beer.. Cheers !!! Was really fun.. Hope next time got chance can bring my gf there.. =D Its smth not really romantic, nor really fun.. cuz prawning u really need paitence.. But the end result is the best.. Satisfaction.. =D

K lah.. photos !!!

Our catch !!!

IMY~

2008-12-06T00:52:00.002+08:00

Wonder why i can miss that someone so much even though its jus a short span of 2weeks plus.. And getting that person out of my mind seems like the hardest thing to do, I'v tried every single way possible.. But only can keep trying to convince myself that the ending will still be the same like in the past... Haix.. bu yao dong xin bu jiu mei shi le mah... Haix.. be casual frens bu hao meh? Haix...

Was playing basketball after swimming.. nd you came... Dunno why my heart suddenly stopped.. Admit that i did lose concentration.. But nevertheless, still tried to give my all in the game.. Ppl who hangs ard me sld know me well enough... Wadever i do.. I GIVE MY ALL.. except studies.. Cuz that one really cmi... =X In you, i gave u everything... But u left me with jus a broken heart... You got the chance to make things right but u chose not to do anything bout it.. The cards are in your hands.. I'v got no say in anything.. I cannot force u neither will i beg u... Anyw, heard that u seems to be much much happier off w/o me.. Since that's the truth then that's the way it shall remain.. The scar will heal.. the bleeding will stop.. the pain will cease.. But it will nvr disappear...

Life still has to go on.... =)

2008-12-04T01:41:00.002+08:00

So much to ask...

So much to say...

So much to do...

So much to Consider....

Sometimes, I really dunno wad to do when i see you... I dunno wad mood i should be in...

Happy? Sad or furious?

I really wanna know wad ya'r really thinking and i wanna know wad's holding you back...
Now that we all know where the problem lies, how to deal wif the problem and wad to do when another situation pops up... I dun see why we shouldn't let things happen... But of cuz things are not happening because i keep claiming that i no longer am interested... Hahas.. i wonder who will believe that.. I'm freaking contradicting myself by saying things i'v said... My heart ming ming shi yao de... Wo que yi zhi zai zhu zhi wo zhi ji... I guess its the fear of rejection bah... To hear the word "NO" again proves to be too big a da ji for me... Haix... Someone... pls get me out of this state...

Common test are like next week.. First paper is this friday.. And i only know like less then 20% of wadever that's gonna come out.. That suxs man..

Hope~

2008-12-03T03:01:00.002+08:00

It has been weeks since....

Jus hope that things have simmer down abit and.. Hopefully all the boats are heading into the right direction...

Fond memories we had even though its jus a short 2 weeks plus tgt...

The photos says it all...

But thou shall let them be remained as memories forever...

Otherwise, how do we move on ?? =)

Frankly, i have no idea of wad i wan... the heart is still aching over the same person.. =X

But cruelty has descended upon us...

Even a simple " How are you?" seems so hard to be asked...

How good would it be if things can jus be reverted to back then... =/

Wishful thoughts i must say i have.... Its hopeless... =(

Single Life~

2008-12-01T01:38:00.002+08:00

Sat,

Friday night wei came over to crash in at my place cuz sat morning we'r going to sentosa !!!
GM stayed over at Des's as i can't accommadate so many ppl at home with dad coming back on that night.. So wei and i dota-ed in the room till like 1 plus 2.. Went down to central to meet gina and her fren huiyu.. They jus got back from work.. So we ate at the small S11.. ok.. only me and wei ate.. Gina standard one.. always is her who jio ppl out to eat then ends up she never eat.. LOLS.. After eating went to my blk there to slack.. Sat at 353 round table.. Our standard slacking place.. Sat there for like not long only then got police came to screen us alr.. Knn.. was smoking with wei and huiyu.. they both under age so threw their cigs onto the floor.. I dunno why but i did the same thing when i'm alr legal to smoke.. LOLS.. anyw, picked it up and cont smoking after they left.. damn cock lah the police man.. Guessed i'm 15 yrs old.. Say i got baby face.. =,=!!

Then after that played songs and sort of K-ed there.. LOL.. Huiyu could really sing damn well.. Next time go k-ing will definitely jio her.. Damn beautiful lah her voice.. And one more thing, she got loads of piercings, and ang kong behind her right ear.. She said its a ying hua.. LOLS.. looks abit ugly though... Anyw, dunno why... standard one.. slack there sure will talk bout ghost stories and wei's real life experiences.. I hear till can repeat for him ler.. LOLS.. cuz always slack with diff group of ppl... Then ard like 4plus gg 5 sent huiyu to take a cab and walked gina home.. Somethings happened while walking back.. Shall not mention it but i jus hope nth will go wrong.. Anyw, reached home, on the living room air cons and set up the sofas, cuz that's where we'll be slping.. We were suppose to meet the rest tmr at 8.30am.. LOl.. but really too tired le.. We woke up at 9.30am despite setting the alarm clock.. then i realised i forgot to switch it on.. Zzz... Okok.. so went down to meet the rest and train-ed to vivo.. Ate at the kopitiam.. Si xiu who msged me ealier sayin she can't come with us last min suddenly appeared.. LOLS... good.. got another gal coming with us after Huiyu and yiying pulled out..

Reached sentosa ard 12pm.. Surprisingly its like not crowded at all.. Sort of empty for a sat morning or afternoon.. So we found a comfy spot under a shade and w/o hesitation, me and wei sprint down into the waters.. The rest wanted to play first b4 getting wet but.. too bad.. We toss them 1 by 1 into the waters.. Frst was dason, then gm dam funny... We grabbed him and he shouted out "okok put me down.. i walk in myself.. " sOrry pal.. Too bad.. hahas... AND in GM went into the waters.. Des was lucky enough cuz he didn't bring spares.. so he was spared.. so was si xiu.. Gina another one damn funny.. We gave her 2 choice and she decided to walk in herself.. She tried to back out and wei gave a a shove which was too weak to push her in so i gave her another one to make sure she is wet totally.. LOLS !!! Chek ark i know.. HAHAS... But come sentosa dun have fun and get wet might as well dun come.. So we played vollayball, soccer and monkey(in the waters).. Halfway there was a lifeguard demo... Was to ensure us public that their sentosa life guards are all qualified and certified life savers.. LMAO... the first demo alr screw up.. its like a kayaker didn't put on his vast and his kayak capsized.. So 2 lifeguards were mobilized.. On surfed towards the victim with a surf board while the other kayak-ed there.. but he didn't reach them.. cuz that life guard.. a fat one.. damn fat one.. he capsized halfway there.. LMAO.. me and dason laughed like mad in the waters... Super funny, he tried to get back onto his boat but prob cuz of his size.. he couldn't !!!! =P

At ard 4 plus we left to shower and headed to vivo.. Des's cousin waiting for us there.. Actually she was supposed to come with us to sentosa but i think she fell back asleep.. So met us only then.. Their cousin is damn chio for her age.. I tell u.. next time she grow up le cfm alot of suitors.. Hahas.. Couldn't decide where to eat and didn't have a movie timing that could suit us, we headed back to AMK and settled for sumo-house.. LOL.. ate my second meal of the tiring and exhausted day.. slacked awhile at hub then went to my hus bball court slack.. cuz wawa jio-ed us basketball so we went.. Shawn came too.. We played with other ppl 3v3.. Me das and wawa.. we were 10-4 leading in the 11 ball game and yet we lose 10-11.. Zzz... i gave my best le.. Haix... chionged even though the blisters were burning on both my feet.. hurt like mad.. esp during sentosa cuz played ard bare footed mah..
Went home ard 12.. bathed , dota-ed then they wanted to slack somemore so went to cb mac.. met wawa, shawn at 2am.. wei and gina came at 3.30am.. knn.. super tired lor.. slept awhile at the mac cushioned seats and got gan-ed by the manager there.. ccb... Then we went to gina hus playground there slack somemore.. Knn.. super fking buay tahan alr.. so i skate-skooter home.. Reached home first time fall on my bed and slept like a pig.. =S
So practically the whole of sat... i slept for like only less then 5hrs while the other 19hrs was spent playing all the way... WAD A FKING TIRING BUT FUN DAY... I dun mind everyday like that cuz it keeps my mind from thinkin too much.. =X

Photos:

You called after our dota game.. I was very glad to hear ur voice and stuff.. but i can't and i dun really wish to have anything to do with u anymore.. it's cruel but i'm sorry.. cuz i can't stand wad u'r doing now.. its unfair.. and i dun deserve things like that.. So... yeah... hope u will enjoy ur trip.. Or u have enjoyed ur trip..

Sun,

Practically due to the lack of sleep from sat, slept till 2pm in the afternoon.. Dota-ed and ate late lunch.. ard 4plus 5 went down for a smoke.. went to basketball court saw wawa's fren and played basketball again.. LOL.. then wawa came when i had to go.. cuz shawn invited us to grassroot for free pool.. Des, das, their cousin, me , wawa and shawn's cousin.. Played pool at the pub their.. had free coke from shawn's aunt.. I sort of like diao 3 rounds, one small didi(his actually damn good), then dason, des and one uncle.. i lost to that uncle by 2 balls.. could have won.. but haix.. lack of concentration cuz man utd game started.. anyw, had a chance to revenge cuz shawn didn't want to play and i won him by 2 balls.. =D

Didn't do anything much.. Ate at S11, the big one.. then went home.. think i'll rest early today.. Its exams in 1 week's time.. Will have to stard studying ler... Alright.. nights ppl.. =D

I still luv u as much.. its jus that i know when it's a lost cause.. We are impossible that i know.. Haix....

Thursday~

2008-11-28T02:05:00.002+08:00

Today wasn't like any other sch days.. LOL.. okok.. I pon-ed my last lesson.. Went to meet wei dason shawn and the 2 girls.. Went swimming at yck swimming complex.. From like 4 plus swim till 6pm.. LOL.. smth happened.. a accident.. we were sort of racing to see who could reach the opposite side first and wei jitao chiong straight away.. He didn't realise he actually kicked shawn in the face.. and his nose bled in the waters.. only realised wad happened when we both reach the other end.. LOL.. so shawn was helped onshore and told by the lifeguards to life down to stop the bleeding.. LOL.. anyway.. talked bout naruto in the waters b4 swimming 1 last lap and then showered.. Went to NYP for dinner as usual.. Ate smth diff today.. no more jap.. sick of it.. Had the tom yam ban mian... Was not bad but jus a little spicy.. =S

So after that, accompany wei to his hus to put his stuff cuz his going to des's house for second round of dinner.. LOL.. big eater he is... While i went up to slack abit and get my basketball, the rest waited at the court.. But wd i didn't realise was that wei took my pump needle.. and therefore i can't pump my ball.. so went down and we all slacked at the court.. couldn't play anyway.. some idoits playing soccer on the court.. plus we didn't have the ball until wawa's fren came down with 1.. Slacked till bout 9pm.. they decided since the ball and fren is here.. might as well play for abit.. so all of us walked across the street to the teck gee cc.. It was empty there.. So we played 4v4 again.. me, des, wawa and des's youngest bro.. it was unbalance obviously.. the other team had wei, wawa's pro fren( my standard =P), gm and das... They owned us.. Anyway, after that game me and wawa's fren jio-ed ppl for 2v2.. 11 balls and we won.. =D
Zai point guard, that's me.. hahahas.. but in reture, i got like a billion blisters waiting to tear on both my feet.. Ouch.. super pain.. walk also need to limp.. Haix.. got most of them in the first game with wei.. so imagine i had to play in that type of pain during the 2v2.. my logic very simple.. Everything dun wan is can live on de.. face, pride, and of cuz the person whom i love very much now is the most impt thing.. =D

Hmmm... i wonder how's she now... I know i'v said alot of nonsence that made ur mind run non-stop.. trying to figure out wad's with me.. Frankly, i dunno also.. i dunno why i'm acting like that.. Its like very moodless for me now... During dota with des they all... u suddenly called... its like i nvr thot u ever would again.. but nt to be happy bout anyw, its bout dota.. so how glad sld i be??
Plus i think.. i think only.. hmmm.. nvm.... Sonner or ltr sure will know de.. dun need to think so much... =/

K lah.. stop here.. today's connection is like shit.. keep dc-ing.. dulan... =C tmr sch's at 9am.. going to bed after a smoke.. Cya peeps.. i love you all faithful readers !!! Though i know there's only 1.. =X

Is your love a lie?
oR is this jus a test?
I dun see how we dun fit into each other's world...
Lookin back at the first week..
Tears would roll down all of the sudden..
Am i thinking too much now??
Is there still hope for the near future??
Expect nth and you'll be less hurt..
That's wad they all say...

Wed~

2008-11-26T21:53:00.002+08:00

Today was jus like any other sch days.. Attend lessons, lunched out with mum at tp, then headed back... On the way back, my director called, said he had to speak to me... And once again i was right, it's regarding my studies... All of my lecturers are pushing for me to get debarred cuz of my poor attendance.. But he is kind enough to defend for me.. I really appreciate it alot.. Jus that i know he's nvr gonna see this.. =S

Anyway.. after sch, went home... Common test is coming !!! First paper starts on the 5th Dec.. OMG !!!! So little time yet so much to study !!! Siao liao !!! Cannot play so much le.. Must prove critics wrong... I'm born to do that i suppose... =S

Erm, reached home.. Arranged with wei and company to play basketball.. Mel and Gina came along.. hahas.. recently gina like keep slacking with us.. Welcome gal !!! =D

k LAh.. nth much happened.. Went off 438 after like 9pm lidat... went to my hus court there play.. finally got lines le.. Easier to play... Hahahas.. played 4v4... Nb.. really fun... I'm glad i got ppl like u guys in my life.. Although at times i know my temper abit fked up.. so sorry man... =X
Will change that.. Now i know who are the real frens and fakes... Its too easy to tell... Anyw,
Dota time.. Revenge match... Dun believe we will lose to u cbss de ppl... GG !!!!! Muahahahhahahahas !!!!

If you'r meant to be, you will be...
If not no matter how hard u force it,
Nth will happen.. =D

Now its time to look away from the closed door,
but not look at those opened..
Instead, I will actually have to focus all my attention,
On my studies !!!! =D

Cheers,
Ry@n~

Instincts~

2008-11-26T02:02:00.002+08:00

I guess i was right...

You didn't have any trouble pulling out of this mess...

You dun lack anyone to be there..

I'm jus glad for ya...

God, dunno when this ordeal will come to an end...

Exams coming soon...

Dun even know wad's going on for the new module i'm taking this sem...

Jus that little tiny matter has taken too much concentration away from me....

A fatal distraction it has been...

A fool I have been to walk right into the middle of it....

Jus hope things settle down soon enough...

But i guess the problem will drag on to the next year...

And this christmas, instead of wad i thot it would be like....

Will be like shit...

Wad can i say? Wad can i do? Well... the very least a THANK YOU !!

Thank you for all these, Well done...

i Know more or less you got affected by wad i said...
It proved smth.. something i needed to know badly...
And u have no idea how glad i was...
REally...
but wad difference does it make?
Nth can change ur mind...
Well.. i hope that every decision u make is a right one...
Cuz u got no room for regrets in this case...
But i still do hope.. And am carrying them high up...

Three simple words jus for you..
* *** *** !!!

2008-11-24T21:47:00.002+08:00

I REALLY HATE YOU ALOT...

That's final.. No one has done shits like this b4...
Wad??? Am i a joke??
Do i look like i'm from the circles???

Helly shit... Today wasted my whole entire day willingly.. up to a point of time it everything was still far from okay... But as evening proceeded, It became hopeless..

Met up wawa ard 6plus and we cycled ard amk looking for pump for my basketball.. We were gonna play at my hus court there.. But to no avail could we find one.. Instead we went to look for ah leong and ken and his stead.. They were fishing at bp with jus strings no rods or nets... LMAO... then ltr wei wei came over.. Damn funny.. you called me jus to tell me to go to the patrol station to borrow the pump there... Hello???!!! Basketball pump needs to have the needle.. the pump there is freaking for tyres.... You think i haven thought of that?? Anyw, then we rushed back to 330 there the bicycle shop... But it's closed.. KnnCcb... Oh yeah.. injured my leg on both area behind the shin.. Cuts from the bicycle tyre... Was practically playing in pain with the borrowed ball.. Oh yeah.. kept having gastric pain thru out the night as i hadn't eaten anything at all for the entire day.. Somemore played bball.. Arg !! Okay bah.. think i stop here..

cya ppl...

Now you have got someone else to see u home,
you got someone else to dine with,
you got someone else to do heart to heart talks..
It seems that i'm totally redundant in ur life anymore...
Wad i had today was far the worst kind of experience i'v even had..
Its like worst then dropping into a pile of shit-sea..

Anyway.. I'v moved on.. Goodbye..

When you'r gone~

2008-11-24T11:36:00.002+08:00

Supp...

Back to blogging despite saying i wannna close down this blog again.. I dunno why.. blogging seems like the only way i could stress out everything on...

Nth eventful happened over the past few days... been jus trying to digest everything that has happened.. Seems like its' not wanting to get digested.. =/

Anyw, played street soccer and volleyball with diff groups of ex-piercians.. Was quite good, got alittle tan and stuff... Hmmm.. wad else?? Oh.. broke up again.. =,=

Life won't be the same again.. But !!! Life still has to go on... =S

Haix... dunno wad to say ler.... I guess its best if i dun say anymore... Dun wan history to repeat... =C

So i'll stop here then... =D
goodbye~

love is?

2008-11-20T20:35:00.003+08:00

What i can give is wad u want...
Yet u chose not to take it...
It burns in my heart knowing that i'v done everything possible alr...
And there's nothing left to be done other then wait...

Its all my fault falling for ue..
Its all my fault making u feel so troubled and miserable..
Its all my fault...

Wanting to let go but i can't bear to..
Wanting to seek the happiness that's right in front of me is a imposibble thing to do..

So tell me, wad sld i do?
Walk away in pain?
oR
Stay wif you in pain?

I love you..
and i loved u..
I'v done enough..

When i sent you to ur floor, the way u walked away.. the look on ur face.. it tells me 1 thing... Its all over for real.. Its all over...
I wanted to chase after u.. but i held myself and backed into the lift..
The moment the lift door closed.. The passage way btw us closed down.. I can feel it..
You'r no longer the you i once knew...

Moodless~

2008-11-20T02:47:00.002+08:00

"You said nth can tear us apart !!
Happiness awaits for us... "

Look wad you'v done... Jus take a look...

Its tearing inside..
Its bleeding profusely..
Its rotting to death..

If there's ever something i could do to make it all right..
I'll do it..
I'll make it right...

E-learning~

2008-11-15T02:35:00.002+08:00

Today is EE's e-learning day, so their won't be a need to go to sch for all EE students.. Woke up by my mum today.. At 1pm.. first thing she came into the room was off the air-con and slap me till i woke up.. then questioned me why i pon class again.. Though i forgot to tell her bout the e-learning shit.. She ain't got any rights to slap me up right??? Can't be polite abit mehh?? Ccb !!! Made me fking dulan.. So woke up.. Realised she din't give me allowance today.. So decided to skip lunch.. Save money.. =D

Dota-ed for like a couple of hours.. Then went to meet wei , dason, gm and des at nyp for dinner.. Been there like twice in a roll.. Both times dinner.. Actually supposed to be at a cell outing tonight.. But since i'm left with not much cash on hand.. Decided wad's best and stayed in AMK area to slack for the rest of the night.. Then, as usual, went home for dotA... been dota-ing like almost everyday since i know these ppl.. Its like everynight lah.. Hahas.. becoming a habit le..

Hmmmm.. dear's coming back tmr.. I'm missing her so much now.. sorry for the late reply dear !! Was in a game.. didn't realise the msg.. =S Anyway... yess... i can finally see u le !!! Hope u didn't become more tan ah... Hahahas... OR an alcoholic.. I know wad its like down there from the first day u described things as... Hmmm... Hopefully tmr can see u like jus for a couple of seconds ye hao.. =D

Luv you loads bAobeii !!! =D

Street soccer tmr early in the morning.. guess i shall head to bed ler... Cya soon again ppls !!! =)

2 Days w/o u~

2008-11-13T02:28:00.001+08:00

Bao beii has gone for 2 days alr.. And seriously i'm missing her presence alot !!!! =(

Today was jus like any other ordinary day for me.. Went to school, attended all my lectures and tutorials, felt really satisfied.. Hahas.. =D

During lunch break, fren drove us out to bukit timah area for lunch.. Think i sld really attend more schools.. Meeting new frens is not that bad after all.. Wad i'v gone thru today shows me wad i have been missing out during times when i pon classes in the past.. Glad that i'm back !! =D

Dear sent me a msg today.. told me not to worry bout her and everything's fine.. but nan mian dou hui dan xin de mah.. If not hai shuan shi ta de nan peng you meh?? =P oh yeah, dear is down with a flu, get well soon okay ??!!! i wan ya to enjoy as much as u can since u'r alr there.. Dun wan u to be only able to rest in the apartment and miss out all the fun.. Missing you alot bao beii !!! =D

Oh yeah... during dota-ing, bump into a fren i knew from MapleSea.. lols.. i added her like 2yrs back and now see her in dota.. LOL.. she's not bad... quite zai.. Dear.. u got competitor le.. hahas...

Hmmm.. k lah.. abit tired now.. been walking alot in the rain today.. Hopefully won't fall ill tmr... And another piece of good news... NO SKOL ON FRIDAY !!!! WHHEEEEEEEEE~~~

E-learning day for EE mah.. hahas.. so song !!! Can stay home and rest and slack and dota and many more other things !!! =))

Time to head to bed !! Cya peeps soon !!!

Back !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-11-12T00:55:00.008+08:00

Heyy peeps !!!!
Got mIss me mahhs !!??? Hahahs... Its been a while since i last blogged..
Finally found back the mood for blogging.. =D

nOw let's do abit of updating.........

Hmmmm ever since my last post which was like about a month ago.. i stopped thinking bout my ex totally... It was pretty awesome and amazing as i thot it would be hard after wad we had been thru.. but with to God's grace and mercy, the impossible happened.. Yupp.. And my life rocks now !!!

I can still vaguely rmb wad happened 1 month ago.. The day i closed down my blog, wei wei and wawa jio-ed me to a chalet outing with them.... There i met many ppl from chong boon sec.. i mean its their class chalet so of cuz all of them are from CB except the few of us.. Met ppl whom i regularly meet out with now, Des, dason, gm, dog, jh and last but not least, my bao beii darling Cheryl !!! =D Got together with her on the 2th of Nov !!!

That night when there purely jus to have fun. Also trying to forget the past.. So its a opportunity why not go for it.. So after dota-ed back home, we met up ard 9pm and cabbed down to east coast for the chalet.. Was abit pai seh at first cuz dunno anyone mah.. Plus at the time didn;t really know wei wei that well.. but still decided to be frenly and make frens.. I dun get it why they all say i look fierce when that's how i look all the time... O.o??? hahas.. maybe born with that expression bah.. bo bian.. sry ppl if i had scared u off from breaking the ice with me.. =X

Okay... now let me continue this post starting from today !!

Tuesday..

Dear left for Malaysia at first light.. Planned to phone with her for abit b4 she leaves SG but sorry !!! Being a pig de wo.. Couldn't wake up after 6 miss calls and i think darl gave up trying to wake me up.. Sorry !!! =S

Anyway.. when you'r in M'sia, dun have me to peii u.. hope my phone can keep the sian-ness away.. =D Though now cannot listen to music or call my frens and chat, regardless all the bu fang bian-ness.. I'm still willing to lend it to u.. Jus wan u to be happy always !!! =D

Hmmmm.. wad else... oh yeah... went skol.. and attended all my lessons for the first time since dunno how long.. LOLS.. okay i know it sounds bad.. But i'm changing for the better alr !! Okay...... at least trying... =P

Life w/o dear was quite not wad i expected to be.. Cuz i nvr had this kind of thing b4.. its like i'm always the one travelling ard the world leaving ppl behind... But now finally got a taste of it.. And it SUXS !!!!!!!!!!!!!

4 more days before she returns from her beautiful holiday.. Jus received a msg from her not long ago.. She's all fine and enjoying her mug or glass of blue bombay.. I'm not really a fan of vodlka or beer but do drink occasionally jus for entertainment sake...

"Darl ah !! Dun drink till drunk hor.. i know ur limit and i hope u know urs okay !!??" =)

Hmmmm... so today after skol was supposed to go swimming but in the end, becuz i have to meet my mum for lunch, missed the swimming session.. =( Damn !!! Wanted to swim really badly lah !!! Hmmm.. i guess maybe tmr go down alone bahhs.... So went to meet wei des dason dog and another guy... went to hub's pepper lunch for dinner.. tHey all ordered except me cuz i had a really heavy late lunch.. Shi ke yi chi de xia, but decided that i'm on a money saving plan so... =D and also can jian feii !!! If not ltr dear keep calling me pigg or fat wadever de.. =X

Then after that gm came to meet us.. Was supposed to go meet ah hua.. Wei had smth to pass it to her.. But her mum won't let her out.. So postponed to tmr... Hope things will go well for wei wei... seeing him moodless at times really made me feel helpless all the time...

BAO BEI :

I miss ue loads gurl !!! =D Got a surprise waiting for ya when u return from ur trip !!! =D
Be safe and look after urself !!! Dun lose my phone hor !!! =D
MUACKS !!!

Photos :

Last post~

2008-10-10T06:01:00.003+08:00

This shall be my last post for a veh long time.. Have decided to stop all these as i dun have the time anymore.. =X

Last day of work.. We quitted.. Wanted to jus hand in our punch-card and leave but ended up sympathising the in-charge of the day.. whom happened to be the first person i met at work.. Irene... She begged us to stay on for jus 1 last day as they are really short of ppl and we did pull in alot of sales for them.. Imagine.. Jus 3 days of sales and their earnings were roughly over S$50k... Hahas.. at least did our part.. but jus couldn't stand the over all in charge.. To think she even wanted to cut my pay for jus a 5mins break i took.. Haix.. bound to meet f up ppl like her.. So jus decided to cut short our working days.. originally was till sunday.. oh well.. 4 days of work.. can say we really enjoyed our time there at IMM.. hmmm... okay lah... This is where i end my post.. and shall say goodbye to my avivd reader yuko.. hahas.. And a few others.. hmmm.. take care people.. Till we meet~

the you i once knew is not you anymore... she has died...

Yuan liang wo~

2008-10-08T06:26:00.002+08:00

Today.. or sld i say ytd.. Tuesday, 7th of Oct... For the first time in my life.. got pushed ard by a gal... A 16 year old gal.. who threw punches and slaps and kicks at me.. Shot cig butts at my face and left my both arm with scratch marks and cuts... And wad did i do... Try to talk sense into her.. Didn't retaliate as I dun hit gals... Esp her.. But wadever... after ytd morning's incident at the void deck and carpark.. I'v finally seen her true self.. And finally understood why those things she told me happened in the past.. And many other things as well.. So.. yes.. i'm finally moving on for real.. This gal that i met up with ytd morning.. appears nothing like the gal i once knew.. totally pan lou liang ren... Call me a loser, call me humji, call me coward, call me fan jian, call me buay gan... U wait and see... You claim u'r a big deal in Yishun and AMK right? See me outside and wad will u do? I bet with ya.. ya do nth.. All u know is hung ppl with all ur bullshits.. U wan play gangster.. u found the wrong guy to play with.. I dun have so much time to waste on u fighting all the zhui u diao.. or ur whoever great deal u have backing u up.. Even he* is a pathatic loser, from wad i see.. So go ahead and enjoy ur life.. enjoy hor.. See who have the last laugh lor...

Went to work as usual.. today was less busy compared to ytd.. been msging her the whole time.. Felt like time flies damn quickly... =) and quite a few customers complimented my services.. which was good to hear if u'r in the service job line.. =D And there's this guy who gave me his number after i served him.. think his working in some agency.. and told me to ring him up if i need a job. =D Its a really sweet deal.. Now got 1 more lobang le.. Hahas.. anyw.. pay jus came in.. not much but was jus only 3 days of work.. Now really got to learn to save for rainy days le.. K lah.. getting late.. later need to start work at 12.. going to bed now.. chaoz..

Hey gal.. dunno when then u will get to see this but.. i'm starting to feel something growing.. =) Erm.. hope everthing's gonna be smooth and steady lor.. Good luck for ur O's.. =D

New phone~

2008-10-07T03:33:00.002+08:00

Finally !!!! Finally, i'v changed my phone... =D

Went with dad to paragon M1.. didn't have any particular phone in mind.. as long as it has a good memory support base and looks cool.. Went there.. toured the promotion section and pondered for the longest time.. Finally close down the cirlce of phones to jus the N82, N95 and the Sumsung Omnia.. Iniatilly picked the N82 but it looks like crap.. So scratched it.. Called janis halfway to seek her advise.. And she told me to go ahead for the N95 as the sumsung model hasn't been very stable for usage.. So i got the N95.. Finally.. hahas.. Hmmm.. after that.. went home and had the biggest quarrel with dad and mum... They kp that for the past few days i'v been bringing ppl home to stayover.. Guy frens and on one occasion a girll.. but fk that.. she's jus a slut.. Hahas.. and of cuz i know wad sluts are.. easily differciatable from decent gals... Hmmm.. but i did not.. I DID NOT do anything with her that night... She jus merely had nowhere to go and came over to use frenster then slp.. seperate beds.. I slp on the spare on while she slept on my bed.. Arg... dirty my bed.. aiya.. wadever.. But the worst shit is that i caught her fking virus.. was very sicked over the last few days.. Physically tired.. mentally distorted.. Emotionally hurt.. 3 in one attack.. Ouch right... but i know i will pull thru fine.. =)

Jus came home from slack with leong.. Wanted to meet yu long but nb.. tua me time over time.. Arg... nvm... went to meet up Alan and Jon Tian ard 1am.. Went to 107 to eat the 24/7 ban mian.. Been going there alot ever since i knew the group.. Always after lan-ing at thompson then walk back.. these ppl are crazy lah.. anyway.. walking is good.. helps with the weight losing.. So fat now lah.. =( Plus shaved head.. Look like cock.. LOL.. Hmmm.. anyway.. took a cab home with leong.. Nb.. first time see a black cab.. its grand-er then the freaking Mecz cab lah.. flag down rate 5 bucks.. nnb... Sur charges 2.50.. LOL.. enter the cab alr 7.50.. Ki siao.. but fk it lah.. now fiancailly abled le.. Been working and stuff.. so yup.. Now working at IMM.. hush puppies sales event.. Its a 1 week long event.. 6 per hour.. Not bad.. but only working for 4 days.. Mon to Thrus as i got another job offer from friday to sun.. Waitering at some club house.. 7-7.50 per hour.. estimated earnings 100 over per day.. Not bad not bad.. Hahas.. Hmmm.. tmr work starts at 12pm... Still need to pei leong and long to tanglin for leong's reporting.. Sianz... Jus waiting up for Long to reach my place then sleep le.. Hmmm...

And as for you... I really tried not to chap into ur life le.. But it jus happened.. Didn't really act like a PI at all.. Coincidence lai de.. You dun wanna believe then up to u... I still have feelings for you no doubt... but i won't let history repeat... What happened to Norine, i'm suffering the consequnces now.. so jus chill.. Dun wanna think bout u but my mind pian pian wan to think i also bo bian.. cuz prob i'm not a player.. dun switch gals so easily.. =/ K lah.. dun say myself till so good.. dun wan someone to puke.. Hahahas.. no offence but i think we both know is who lah hor.. LOL...

Na de qi jiu yao fang de xia.. =S
how hard... =(

Zui jin zhi dao ni hen qun rao.. hen nan shou.. But wad can i do.. Nth.. yes.. nth... Haix... =/

Zui Jin~

2008-10-05T02:49:00.002+08:00

Heard that u didn't go for ur papers.. Why?? Its not in my power to concern or question.. but my heart still bleeds silently from the wound.. I jus dun wan u to end up the way i see things will be.. I jus tot u'll be smart enough to know u deserve smth better in life.. Why do i care so much when u dun? Its because u dun even care, that's why I cared.. but there's nth i can do.. Except to ignore as much of it as possible.. and that seems to be one of the hardest thing to do... But well... I guess its too late.. You are, after all, going down... Jus remember.. I won't be there when u climbed out from ur drop.. You'r prob saying i dun give a f**king damn.. F**k off and die.. And u most probably will regret it all in life.. Haix...

Souless~

2008-10-04T10:04:00.003+08:00

Now its weird.. i dunno wad i wan anymore.. i am becoming someone else.. And yet, i'm helplessly watching evolution taking place without putting up a struggle.. my god.. My life has totally sunken into a state of depression.. And it suxs...

I'm cool not having anyone ard.. I'm cool not fallin in love or being loved.. i'm cool if u didn't meant wad u said.. I'm cool with it all.. Cuz i know you'r happy after doing wad u did.. And i live up to my standards.. I'm cool if u wanna go.. I'm cool..

Bad day~

2008-10-02T02:23:00.002+08:00

Ever since the hair cut.. Things haven been going well for me.. Haix... =(

Skol faster start... 2 weeks and counting..

humans~

2008-09-29T19:04:00.002+08:00

Human beings are strange living things arn't they.. How fast they change their thinking, their actions, and their cause of survivior.. They tend to say one and do the other.. Its riduclarsly fucked up... The word promises should be erased from the dictionary.. Cause there are no such things as promises.. Not that i'v seen even 1 incident of it.. Nothing is of garanteed.. Luck plays a big part.. and you have fight for wad you desire.. There are many people out there in this world, living lifes in different conditions, Some lives among the top riches, some lives in the dump... Open up your eyes and look out of ur comfort zone before moaning or grambling that your life suxs... And that you feel like dying because certain small matters can't be solved.. Look far people.. look far.......

Weird post i know... I jus had the sudden urge to note down everything that;s running thru my mind.. Even i dunno wad i'm writing about.. So if u dun , its okay...

School's starting in roughly 2 weeks time.. =/ ABIT NERVOUS.. yup.. lol.. hopefully.. this time round I can get a 3.0 and above GPA... cuz its 3 repeated modules.. =( Alright.. need to rush now.. take caree...

Awoken~

2008-09-27T23:38:00.003+08:00

Ai qing bu neng zhou bi jiao~

Wad's lost is lost, all i can do now is to not lose wad i still possess.. A future.. I hope its still there...

I have a lot to think about lately.. wad have i been doing all this week.. hanging out with brothers.. Slacking.. doing nth practically.. wasting my life away.. Its a different life.. and it really opened up my eyes to the pai kia life-style.. I really hate it and dun really enjoy a single moment of it as it doesn't benefits me anything at all.. nth at all.. I jus hope i'm in time to catch the departuring train.. i wanna get out of this whole thing... It really suxs.. Well.. I have no one to blame and no one shall be blamed for wadever that is happening right now.. I have to say i do enjoy the time i spend from Jan '08 all the way till i had another gal in my life.. That period was really the best.. It was all about working, earning money, slacking with frens or colleages after work to drink and nth else.. Well.. i guess that short span of 6mths will be considered one of the best moments in my life.. and i would very much like to go back to that life-style.. Why did the chain have to break? why can't it last longer for awhile more.. =( Because of her presence in my life, things started to change gradually... now i dun blame her cuz its not her fault.. its the control or should i say discipline.. I lost it and once again focus all my time on her and not long.. i joined a company.. Intro-ed by sebas.. Many frens told me I no longer am myself anymore.. =( Sorry dudes.. i'm really sorry.. I jus wanna have a insight on how things are run and stuff.. haix.. after all.. I only understand 1 thing.. if this goes on.. i'm only courting death.. All day long fool ard with brothers, plus my then-gf who doesn't like to study no matter how hard i tried to knock sense into her.. Haix.. Its going down for me.. and now i find myself here.. pathetic..

Anyway.. The song i uploaded really suits me.. okok... for alot others out there as well who have fallen out of love.. Shan't say too much anymore.. Cuz there's nothing else to say le.. Time for me to wake up le.. And i seriously need to wake up..

Time to head out.. dota night.. Cya ppl..

Know why last night i chose not to go down? Not because i'm afraid to face u or wadever.. Its jus no point doing pain to myself seeing u guys doing wadever i know u guys are doing.. Its jus pointless.. Since u came out all the way there to enjoy.. no point appearing in front of u again... Dun wanna mess up ur night.. its better off that way.. For the both of us... I dun wish to have anything to do with ya anymore... Cuz i know you'r not the gal.. Short term happiness won't get u far.. Imagine all the pain u have to go thru again.. not much in my case.. No matter how u end up.. Its all because of you.. Take caree...

=D

2008-09-25T08:32:00.004+08:00

"anyw i ve deleted my previous posts because everything is over nd i don't even wanna think abt it. looking at those post just makes me wanna puke. haas."

Ccb.. looking at this sentence is enough to make me go sort... nb.. who the fuck u think u are.. haas somemore.. nnb.. wan puke?? go pubbing more lah.. puke finish feel damn song right? after that seh seh go pia right? Lim pei hot liao lah.. knn.. cb.. chao ah lian.. think u who.. buay song come tio me lah.. Ccb... not like u are chio or worthy for the respect... why the fk did i even do some much things for u in the past and now.. fking regretted shaving off all my hair.. knn...

anyw.. went gym with a skol mate in the afternoon.. gym till bout 5 plus 6 went for dinner.. after dinner met up with some bros at tpy.. didn't wanna play basketball but i guess the temptation is jus to ridicularsly high... played in skinnys.. damn hot.. then after then went to jun's house to slack.. got wei sheng, me, sebas, jun and eunice.. lol.. sheng fking scammed me to come down by saying got 4 gals coming.. then in the end only 1 come.. knn.. that one still nvm.. can jus take it as come down play basketball.. second time scam me say he chia me martell.. knn.. in the end only bring 2 cans of beer.. so without the alcohol, we played poker cards, blackjack, tai di, five ten, murderer.. lol... lame lah.. then before we knew it, the sun's up alr.. jus reached home, suppose to bathe then go meet ah leong and company at 121.. damn shag now.. cb.. felt like i haven slept properly for years man..

k lah.. needa take a shower now.. check in later again..

No more emo-ing over that bitch..

Anyw, i got really attracted to this someone.. hmmm.. but needa take things really slowly right now.... dun wan her to turn out to be exactly jus the type my ex is... But prob i won't do anything till my hair has grown longer.. that's the time limit i set for myself to cool down and get over the past for good..

Heng xiang shuo~

2008-09-23T13:14:00.004+08:00

if a man wants u..nth can keep him away.. if he doesnt want u..nth can make him stay..stop making excuses for a man & his behavior.. heartbreaks last as long as u want & cut as deep as u allow them to go.. the challenge is not how to survive heartbreaks but to learn from them.. when it rains.. look for the rainbow..

(You Are So Beautiful To Me)

在我眼里你永遠最美連你一個微笑也都會讓我醉

你所謂的幸福我想給以為手不放開就是痴心絕對

太愚昧難道笑容沒了距离有了快樂也走了

還是真心死了彼此不信任了終于懂了真的

很想說有你是幸福的很想說我的心是你的

很想說你真的誤解了很想說你真的忘記了 My Love

笑容沒了距离有了快樂也走了

還是真心死了彼此不信任了終于懂了真的

很想說有你是幸福的很想說我的心是你的

很想說你真的誤解了很想說你真的忘記了

很想說會好好疼你的很想說愛你是自由的

很想說你是否听見了很想說你真的忘記了

愛了就有堅持理由別說我會留在路口

不會走愛你會直到最后

很想說有你是幸福的很想說我的心是你的

很想說你真的誤解了很想說你真的忘記了

很想說會好好疼你的很想說愛你是自由的

很想說你是否听見了很想說我們可不可以复合

In my eyes you''ll always be the most beautiful, even just a smile from you sends me reeling
Your so-called happiness I want to give you I thought that holding on tight was a rash decision
Too ignorant Could it be? Smiling expression gone, now there's distance between us, happiness has also left
Or did sincerity die? We don't trust each other anymore.
I finally know that this is real..
I really want to say that you are happiness, that my heart is yours
I really want to say that you've misunderstood, that you've truly forgotten my love
Could it be? Smiling expression gone, now there's distance between us, happiness has also left
Or did sincerity die? We don't trust each other anymore.
I finally know that this is real..
I really want to say that you are happiness, that my heart is yours
I really want to say that you've misunderstood, that you've truly forgotten
I really want to say that I'll love you dearly, that loving you is my choice
I really want to say that you didn't hear it, that you've truly forgotten
Having loved is remaining committed to reason
Don't say anything - I will stay at the intersection
I won't keep walking, loving you I will remain there forever
I really want to say that you are happiness, that my heart is yours
I really want to say that you've misunderstood, that you've truly forgotten
I really want to say that I'll love you dearly, that loving you is my choice
I really want to say that you didn't hear it I really want to ask if we can be together again.

omg~ wtf is happening to me now!!

爱

2008-09-22T19:45:00.003+08:00

"每个恋爱故事总让人刻骨铭心 - 有风有雨的爱,才能显得真爱难求...这才会让彼此更加珍惜对方..."

thIs is one sentence that explains my all... I stand by it and live by it.. I dun really agree with my bros they all.. After all, ah lians are also humans wad.. they'r are to me, not toys.. So i WON'T ever toy ard with their feelings... Miss that gal alot now.. Hmmm... =(

Anyway, slacked with them again last night.. Till 8 in the morning then reach home.. Went to NP to meet director at ard 3pm... Same old bullshit talks again.. Study hard, this is the one door u need to open.. if u can't even open this door can forget bout Uni or high-paid salary jobs.. wadever lah.. i do wanna lead a luxery life in the future.. but i rather stick to something i enjoy more and earn less then earn more but fucking hate it... Cuz you only get to live once.. Its 1 life , live it to ur fullest.. Now i do see which direction she is heading towards.. i do sometimes agree with wad she's doing but oh well.. its not gonna be a very bright future.. Enough..

Jus had dinner with wen hui at 338 coffee shop.. the chicken rice there like best lah.. its not very oily and the chicken is very tender.. Thumbs up !! =D

Alright.. gonna meet up a fren at AMK hub soon... Take cares !!!

"没有一个人非要另一个人才能过一生."

Things~

2008-09-21T20:18:00.001+08:00

well as long as u are happy.. as long you are happy............... =/

night out~

2008-09-21T14:31:00.004+08:00

Hey people.. Jus came out from the showers and decided to blog a little.. Like i mentioned in my previous post, i said i'm going to sam's for a birthday celebration right? In the end.. No one made it to sam's due to unforseen circumstances... In the end.. i had a super late dinner with dad at the hawker need home.. Coincidentally, 2 of my bros are there as well, Chiwawa and ah leong.. and they jio-ed me to ton with them, which i did eventually cuz i had nth to do.. But was pretty damn tired after a day of working.. actually 2 days of working... Wanted to have a good night rest but oh well.. Slacked with them at blk 339... then moved to Blk 212 to meet some other ppl.. So practically there' 5 guys and 1 gal.. diao at the study corner, played cards till like 6am before having a bite at the nearby hawker.. By that time there's only 4 of us left, ah leong, chiwawa(AMK de, cuz there's another one from yishun too i heard), long, and me.. We took a cab to payar lebar to meet up with leong's girl-fren... Slacked at mac's for a couple of hours then went to creasents.. diao at the air-con food court for not long before we were out in the open space again.. Cuz of Cindy's need to smoke all the time.. Looking at her.. its the impression of ah lian.. totally.. thick make ups, dressing, the way she talked, smokes, she so resembles someone... And alot of the words she used in convesations sound so super farmilliar.. Like i'v heard them more then a million times over the past few months... Hahas.. And she keeps wanting to intro gals to us... me and chiwawa.. hmmm... thnx but no thnx... =) So practically, we slacked, talk cock and stuff till like 1pm.. that's when we all decided to head home.. I think this cindy gal is sweet but she's a typical ah lian, jus not my type for now and ever.. been thru enough shit...

okay lah.. enough of this.. Jus really felt the care and concern from my bros as i can see they really wanna help me out with my troubles, but i convinced them violence is not everything.. nd i dun wan any extra troubles as well.. =)

Gonna take a short nap.. meeting up with alan to diao ard amk hub soon.. Take care ppl..

Braun Buffel

2008-09-20T03:33:00.005+08:00

lost my wallet today.. hmmm.. the photos in the wallet as well as the money, ic, everything's gone.. gonna be a freaking trouble-some week for me now.. got to re apply my debit card, stud pass and so on.. sian.. Is this consider a sign ? i Guess it is.. =/

K lah.. will be gg over to sam's now.. Nash's birthday celebration.. gonna drink till i drop like a rock..

2008-09-20T03:33:00.004+08:00

School called jus before i was leaving house.. Haix.. looks like i'm set for another meeting with one of the stuff on monday.. =/

Alright.. i'll be at tangs again today.. Think cuzzie is dropping by later.. haven seen her or talked to her for a long time alr.. Only everytime when i'm emotionally troubled will then look her up.. But this time it was very different compared to the last time.. Hahas.. talked cock till like 3am.. Lame lah u girl !!!

Hmmm.. I'm feeling very weary now.. i'm starting to feel the glazing heat burning every little bit of strenght off me.. Its been like a week or 2 alr.. but oh well.. this is life.. you yuan zai jian~

Gg off for work now.. take cares ppl~

kielh's~

2008-09-20T00:55:00.005+08:00

Worked for Kielh's today.. For those who haven heard of kielh's or have no idea wad it is.. Let me explain here.. =) Kielh's is founded in the 1815... in the american city New York. The main products they sell are facial and skin care products, which includes moisturiser, tonner, cleanser, lotions and alot more other... My job in Kielh's is easy.. The job scope of this job is to give out flyers, introduce to the public about the exisitance of this brand and the new products that are launched recently.. The ultra series.. The ultra moisturiser is very well known in the states as it has been brought up for uasage by the team who first hiked up mount everest... So now we are heavily pushing it for sales.. And the second part of the job scope is to TAKE PHOTOS with clients, customers, or people interested in our products... Its to show as a form of appreciation and sort of like a compliment to the product after using or trying out the complimentary samples.. That is a job scope.. Its not my individual lust or wanting to flirt with girls or get number.. so dun teh me with that okay !! Fk.. forget it.. anyway.. the pay's good.. roughly $10/hr.. $5 will be deducted for meal times.. so a day would earn about $75... Its good money.. but the job is really unstable therefore i can't really rely on it much.. but the guys and girls working there are really fun and funny people to talk to.. most of the kielh's boys are already in Uni.. God.. talking to them really makes me think twice bout how i wan my future to end up like... Definitely not with someone with no future.. and i more thing.. they all advised me to get a girl only after NS or in uni.. where the age gap won't be too far and the maturity lvl of both parties would be of standard alr.. Okay.. for now.. i need to go freaking eat my dinner and clear my head.. loads of stuff going thru now.. Freaking making me crazy.. money.. studies... future... lifelong partner and so on.. probably i sld list down a list of to-do things... and slowly cancel out my accomplishments.. Now since no one cares bout me anymore other then the handful of frens i have and my family, i shall really not disappoint them..

2008-09-19T10:43:00.004+08:00

我知道你很难过

爱一个人需要缘份

你何苦让自己

越陷越深

别傻得用你的天真

去碰触不安的灵魂

每一天只能痴痴的等

爱一个人别太认真

你受伤的眼神

令人心疼

没有一个人非要另一个人

才能过一生

你又何苦逼自己面对伤痕

我知道你很难过

感情的付出

不是真心就会有结果

别问怎么做爱才能长久

这道理有一天你会懂

我知道你很难

过昨天是恋人

今天说分手就分手

别问你的痛要怎么解脱

多情的人

注定伤的比较久

爱若变成了刺

思念也成了痴

也许心碎是爱情最美的样子

Is this wad u are trying to tell me? Is it you or me? or Was you then me? maybe... but it makes no sense to wad is happening now.. Are you telling me this time its for real? The mysteries will remain.. till the day you unlock your heart...

Yo todavía le adoro galón..

hair cut~

2008-09-18T21:23:00.002+08:00

Went for a hair cut today.. cutting off all the tied ends or strings that are still attached to the past.. now hair's all gone.. and i realised i look like crap.. fking weird.. now go everywhere also need to wear cap le.. Bad decision.. =(

Oh god... everyone's pointing away from her to me.. but why is the heart still longing.. God damn it..

The thot of .... arg !!! Forget it.. time to slp.. Recently have been having the weirdest dreams.. My fking mind is stimulating way too much fantasys man... But these dreams are freaking ridiculars.. My ex involves, both actually.. like wth.. and bout me getting a tatoo.. and guess wad.. the next morning i woke up, i realised the tatoo wasn't there on my arm.. i actually cried.. lol.. lmao... Its super crazy... Still breaking up is a fking problem i can nvr deal with wisely.. or sane-ly.. Sucks man.. Jus hope to fk off to NS asap.. then get the fk out of this country.. Haix...

Aug,Sept

2008-09-16T07:09:00.003+08:00

Interesting months with absolute no accomplishments yet heavily infested with bullshits..

Give me... a damn f**king good reason why should i be even abit sad or unhappy at the way things turn out?

Its typical ah l*** play.. Brings u to heaven for a couple of days.. then toss u like a coin back into hell... Through frens, i'v come to understanding the consequnces and actions of wadever i did.. It was stupid, immature and a waste of loads of precious time.. Which resulted in 3 failing modules for the past semester... Its a serious setback.. but oh well.. since its alr happened.. jus got to deal with it and all the pressure upon my shoulders.. Pressures to produce..

now.. let me take u guys back to wad happened.. hmmm.. where sld i start off.. Ermmm... It all started like a fairytale as i have mentioned in my previous posts.. Then dramatically.. feelings fade, true colours shown, loss of paitance, arguement arose, vulgarities bombarded my world like there's no tml.. wad wrong have i done, to derserve all these.. The answer is... spending gf's money... How f**king ridiculars... Look.. Guys are NOT oblige to f**king pay for girls.. there's no such things as free lunch... Boyfrens, being gentlemens, will glady pay for their gfs.. that's of cuz.. why? cuz we love them.. we spend our money on them willingly.. and bears no grudge.. We dun ask them to pay us back or wadever.. cuz that's the one thing we can do most.. But to certain type of ppl.. this rule doesn't applies.. An example okay?

Kevin and Sally is a loving couple.. but they, like other couples encounter alot of obsticles and therefore, leads to plenty of quarrelling.. nd which everytime, one party will give in at the end cuz we both know the cost of losing each other is too huge to pay and its f**king unbearable.. Until one day... Kevin stopped working for a period.. no income... no extra allowances.. Living on the few dollars he have.. trying to get pass each day as fast as possible.. Not to forget he still has a gf.. and of cuz meeting up with her would be the last thing he'll say no to.. Cuz jus seeing her makes his day... But whenever they meet up, kevin although tight on hand, would try to spend accordingly with wad he have left.. And tries to make every date as beautiful as the first one.. or even more colourful... At times, even when his f**king broke, he'll still meet up with her jus to relax.. And in the process money needs to be spent.. definitely.. cuz this world.. this country.. u can't live by anyday not spending a single cent.. So sally offers to pay.. and the first thing he did was to reject but end up getting his rejection rejected.. So to avoid a quarrell.. he steadily allows her to pay for him.. Its not to his liking as getting gfs to pay for him wasn't part of his plan in a r/s.. but she keeps assuring him and reasoning with him as she doesn't wants his burden to be to heavy.. That's pretty much the end of story.. the ending.. ask me...

hahas...

anyway.. going for an interview later at 10am at kallang bahru.. Applying for promoter job at ashworth.. yes.. we sld all be farmilliar with that brand.. hahas... haven slpt for today.. Been at sam's for the past 3 weeks.. on and off.. returning home for a day or 2... crashing over at his place really cost alot of things to happen.. but also.. i get to realise many more things.. =D And the number of ppl i'v been talking to recently, increased like a rocket launched into outer space.. some of them are ppl whom i'v not talked to since maybe a year back stretching back to as long as 5 years.. Was good to hear from some of them... At least the long hours of convesations kept my mind from thinking bout her.. alright.. will need to prepare for later's interview.. meeting up with my homie boy sean tze later for a buddy talk.. met him last sat.. went to tuitor's place and had lunch.. Old days memories jus flooded back like the tsunami... Studying for O's, playing and fooling ard.. its nvr gonna be the same again now.. but still its a memory worthy to savour..

I'll like to end my post with a wishing to that someone..

i wish that u realise how badly things have became.. and the most impt thing still is ur studies.. i hope u wake up in time.. cuz from wad i'v seen.. its scary even jus to imagine ur life in the future.. But i shall care no more for you dun care anymore alr... jus wish that wadever choice u make... wadever decisions u have in mind.. is the best for u... I Can't provide.. so i'll gladly step aside for the more able ones.. After all.. ur happiness is my main concern.. take care...

What's left of me~

2008-09-06T08:17:00.005+08:00

Why can't I jus change for once? Why must it all be empty promises.. Ryan... You'r useless, worthless and a junk.. Stop decieving others... If u can't be who u claim to be.. Then shut the fuck up and learn...

For the past 1 week.. All i remember doing was quarrelling with Jiayi.. Lots and lots of quarrels.. And the quarrellings paid off... with her giving up hope on me.. I derserve it.. So why should i even be acting like a baby crying... Milk's spilled.. Game's over... aNd i'm the loser... I'v came to realised that me, the current ryan.. Is a fucking big actor.. Acting like someone who he is not.. but wants to be jus to look cool... Look different.. Wad good has it brought u huh? A broken heart boyy.. Norine's lesson still not enough ah... Now its really expected that u have to go thru this once again... Where's the changes man.. I have to admit i did change.. but also.. i'm easily influnced.. I dun really have a strong mind.. I'm easily manipulated by ppl... People ard me.. Ppl i love esp... I love jia yii.. but like she said.. its all the past.. should jus let go.. how i wish its that simple..

In the r/s.. i made many mistakes.. Common ones like lying, cheating on her.. all those stuff.. it jus shows that i dun love her at all.. But yet my heart says i do.. pRob is becuz i'm so used to her.. hard to get on with life w/o her... Although its not like that.. but jus have to force that concept into my fucking pathatic mind... I love her yet time over time i left her.. then when i realised my mistake... then go back.. like she's a spare tyre.. i really dun mean it that way gal.. Hands on my chest.. i swear i do really love you... Many ppl told me not to go too deep into the r/s... from other sider's point of view.. we dun match up.. and this is one fact both me and her knew.. but i wanted to prove everyone wrong.. I wan to try make things work out.. cuz i believe in myself.. i believe in fate.. Our meeting was by fate totally.. It is also wad i call love at first sight.. its really great to experience that kind of feeling.. its not something everyone has the chance to experience... And another issue, my own financial problem... Its been the same since young... whenever i got the cash, i'll be thinking on how to spend it.. instead of saving it up for rainy days... That's one fucked up problem.. so i won't blame her for leaving.. after all u dun wanna be with a guy whom u can't rely on right? I jus hope these incident would become a very impt lesson for me.. all i needa do now is to change.. to focus fully on changing.. not for the sake of her.. but for the sake of my own future..

Arg!!! Can't take it no more.. i'll better head to bed.. been up the whole night out in town.. really tired now...

*If ever you'r looking at this.. i wanna tell you.. gal.. you'r gave me something no one else have given me.. the feeling of love... and care.. and concern... you stood out among all those.. including my family.. thank you for the memories.. i'll move on from here now i guess... =)

The last picture we ever taken together.. i rmb her telling me she likes it.. but prob to her it means nth now... I do hope you meant wad you said bout me being your second and ur last.. It's jus false hopes but i'll still take it...

you have no idea how much u mean to me gal...

Finally an update !!!

2008-08-14T02:15:00.003+08:00

Hi peeps.. Haven been very actively blogging for the past 1 month.. So sorry !!! Now i'll update wad roughly happened recently..

Final Year Exams are round the corners AGAIN !!! Shucks.. Haven even started studying at all... Got a damn sure feeling i'm doomed.. And won't be surprise if i see all RED again.. Okay wadever.. studies aside for now..

As u guys know, the end of the great singapore sales means the end of my working days as a promoter at CP. Was quite not used to non-working days, therefore, went job hunting as usual.. Heng ah.. didn't have to wait too long before 1 came about.. Jaclyn intro de.. Promoter for tamiya sales event at compass point at sengkang. The usual plan was 6 days of working.. Hahas.. got the cut on the 4th day of work.. Didn't work alone though, Jiayi and whatt kiang (poly fren) worked there as well.. and they too got the sack. Well, No point pointing fingers at anyone.. This kind of things are expected.. Boss see u not happy, u also lan lan right?? Hmmm... didn't earn much during this period though.. But its okay cuz its the experience that matters...

Hmmm... On sat, went out jiayi.. went to town acutally.. was having one of our usual quarrels at paragon.. It was considered a small mistake to me but i know it hurted Jy alot.. But thank god its sort of over alr.. Spent time at paragon, looked up sebas whose still working as a promoter at Ashworth. Ard 6 plus met up with sebas again and some brothers.. Went cine for pool... Abit sian lah.. didn't play much.. Wanted to pei dear more after that quarrel.. after awhile dear went off to selatar reservoir to meet her xiu and some other ppl.. I went down for sonka again with my bros.. Reached there ard 9pm.. like jus in time for the bow thingy.. LOL... after that can go liao.. On the way to the hawker bump into my CEO.. lol.. then went back songka slack.. they gambled there as well.. not long after quarrelled with dear again.. decided to look up her so left early.. went to her house void to talk things out.. Haix dear ah.. So cute lah.. purposely set trap de loh.. lol.. anyway wadever that's promised that day will be kept so dun need to worry le okay ??? =D
after slacking with dear till 12 plus went to sam's for poker as usual.. Didn't lose didn't win.. Hahas.. aI zaI leh... Sam bought a snake from dunno where.. My god lah.. Its a small one, but i'm sure someday it'll turn into a human eater.. LOL.. and i'll know when that day comes when i no longer see sam.. Hahas.. Inside happily living in the stomach of that snake pet of him.. Hahas.. now od cuz we dun wan that to happen right? after all, his one of my lifelong buddy.. =/

Sunday woke up ard afternoon.. Went to toa payoh for basketball with my bros.. Played from 2 to 6 pm.. hiong sia... Reached home , showered.. Halfway, dear msged me.. She was out with her sisters to celebrate chen xiu's birthday.. They went K-boxing.. And the first msg i received from her that day was that dear, whr u ? i think i abit drunk.. CB... lim pei jitao tio stun.. forgot k-box serve alcohol.. but didn't expect dear to drink so much.. okay lah.. according to her she didn't take much.. Jus that maybe too hiong lor.. can't drink mai ge kiang, wad bo ta bo lam pa.. LMAO... chen xiu ah.. dun bring bad my dear leh.. I know u legal liao.. but she still small gal leh... Smoke , drink.. next take drugs meh? LOL... Jkjk... So i rushed down to raiders that k-box.. dear was alr seh liao.. alright... shall skip the details regarding her maddness.. But the 2 of them did really made a scene.. everyone was looking.. damn pai seh lah... they rested for wbit b4 more of their guy frens came.... Then the whole lot of them went off.. went to khatib to eat i think.. dear was so gone that she couldn't follow so went to my place to cool down.. let the alcohol level reduce.. then ard 10 plus 11.. sebas called.. jio me go serangoon drink.. at first didn;t wan to go cuz dear drink till like that liao.. then she somemore staying over.. can't bring her there.. but she insisted she's much better, and her fren wanted to drink more.. so i brought them both of them there.. Again.. quarrelled with dear over the same matter.. okay lah.. i know i was wrong to do that.. sorry ah !!! =( Thanks to ah yi's freaking lame usage of words.. me and dear patched up again.. after that went back to my place.. and according to dear.. i sprouted alot of nonsence that night although i didn't really drink much or got drunk... Anyway, slpt till next morning...

Went to dear's house.. waited as she shower then we went out again.. It was monday already.. the 11th Aug.. our second month tgt.. That day alone quarrelled countless times.. But in the very end.. we know we both se bu de each other.. I guess we really loved each other alot... Although the bond in our r/s is not strong, but our determination to strive wasn't.. =D I love you lots dear !!!

Tuesday went to get pay with dear.. Got around 250 ++.. dear didn't work as long as me cuz she still got skol so she got lesser.. anyway.. that day i deem it as one of the best days we ever had.. Alot of compromisin and giving in.. Went to Marina Square.. Had pizza for lunch and then k-boxed till 9pm... my first time k-boxing.. i know i can't sing well.. but practice makes perfect.. next time anyone got go k-box must jio me yeah !!! hahas... wEnt back to my place to slack abit then went to yishun for supper with dear's fren.. ate the so called famous and nice nasi lemak.. Exp shit.. and it didn't taste really nice.. not for the price i paid at least... 5 bucks for 1 plate.. Exp sia... Anyway.. nvm lah... intention was to pei dear more mah... =D

N levels coming soon leh.. dear jia you okay ??? i know u like alr give up le but jus at least have a nicer looking piece of cert yeah?? For me k?? jia you for ur prelims now !!! luv u lots baby !! =D

first month anniversary~ 11/07/08

2008-07-15T01:47:00.004+08:00

With my dear for 1 month plus le.. Simply love the time spent tgt.. ilu dear !!! Dun always chu pattern leh.. Kills de leh.. Hahas.. :)

Last sunday was last day of the Great Sin Sales.. Stayed till like 1am plus due to set down... That's wad they called it.. hahas.. dunno if its a proper word or wad.. Well.. gonna miss my time working at CP.. and all the promoters.. =( We had so much fun having smoking breaks, slacking during work, drinking at Orchard plaza, dining at cappage, meridian food court and the mama shop !!! LOved the mee gua !!! My nUMBer 1 choice for Halal food !!! Its damn nice k !!! Must try !! *Extra spicy only.. Hahas.. always have to stand by a packet of tissue paper for the buckets of sweat after eating.. Back to Cp.. Had so much wonderful memories.. At the staircase, SL, carpark.. FARK !!!! I am starting to miss working there alr although its only 1 day ago since i was last there.. ='( Gonna miss CP Mac's , my favourite hang out spot.. MiSs the ppl there !!! Omg~ dunno when then can see u guys again.. Sebas, weeyong, raymond, jeff, wilson, des, harris, chet, sam, tk, christine, gwen, gy... All the colleages cum frens... Seriously i considered it as one of the few best moments in my life.. ='( The fun and laughter , the un-reasonable customers, the mountains of clothes to fold, the scoldings we get.. Omg~ gonna miss all those !!! But its all OKAY !!! cuz i found love there !!! So... at least something, no no, someone from CP that i can take with me... My gal Jy !!! Loved the times we slack at SL, the level 3 toilet there, ahahas... hmmm... Gonna miss all those shit.. Well, let's jus wait till the next GSS !!! Till we meet fellows !!!

Pictures of promoters in my slacking cum smoking cum joking clique, taken on wed, 09/07/08.

At S. Gardens, some KTV pub.. We drank, sang, smoke our hearts out.. Loved the time spent tgt brothers... But sadly, it was the last day for Raymond whose going back to Malaysia. We all missed him badly.. The unlimited vulgarities coming out from him we hear all day long at work, the craps and jokes that comes from him.. His one of the best promoters i'v met there.. Good luck fren !! Hope to see ya back in SG...

~A day 2 Remember~

2008-07-08T02:04:00.008+08:00

Nvr felt anything like this before.. Today totally rock.. And yes.. a day to rmb.. And for life, i'll rmb today.. =D Hahas... Skipped skol today.. Finally had the chance to hang out with jiayiii for the whole day.. All thanks to youth day.. =D Secondary skols granted holidays on monday.. So practically.. we slacked at my place before heading out.. Recently have been going out on night cycling sessions with my dear fren Harris.. and i'll reach home easliest 4am all the time.. But got to return the bike to Timon soon.. No more cycling sessions harris boy.. =( Thinking of getting a small BMX bike myself... Or DIY one... hmmm.. that'll have to wait till i get my next paycheck.. Cuz before the bike.. there'r many things in line as well.. which includes an ipod, a new hp and a pair of working shoes.. Sounds random but , hahas.. oh well... Anyw.. back to today.. Watched 21(blackjack) at shaw's... The seats looks very fcuking damn uncomfy at first sight.. but when i sat down... I feel like i'm in my own bed.. LOl.. anytime can fall asleep.. and that's wad m baby jiayiii did.. Hahas.. okok.. she only went off to lala~ land for like maybe 5mins or so.. =D But for her.. i dun think the reason she fell aslp is the comfy chairs but my shoulders.. LOL.. bhb abit.. HAHAS... =P

After the show, we toured round orchard.. Went to wisma, taka, cine and herreen... By the time its prob ard 9-10pm alr and most malls are closing le.. So no chance to really shop.. Oh well next time maybe.. =D bUt dear bought a PSP slimmm for $375... Exp.. =S smart of her to get the PSP first thing we left the house.. SO PRACTICALLY THE WHOLE TIME, SHE KEPT IT IN HER HAND BAG, AND MOST OF THE TIME, THE HANDBAG'S ON MY SHOULDERS... That's why i said she's smart... LOL... but i won't mind lah... Hahas... how often do i get to carry it... =P

Hmmm.. took some photos today.. enjoy.. =D

Taken during working hours.. Slackin at the canteen actually.. =D

Love you alot my dearest JIAYIIII !!! Hope tml nvr comes or sld i say even if it comes, hope it'll nvr end.. =D *Huggs*

hello~

2008-07-02T15:36:00.007+08:00

Omg~~~ How long has it been since i last updated this stagnent blog.. Its like dying.. Hahas... Srry man.. was as busy as hell the whole week.. Now, let me share some interesting facts with ya guys... I got 4 modules CT papers.. Okay.. I got 3 Fs and an A !!! lol.. So here's the thing.. do u consider that A as a consulation or I smply jus sucked??

Hmmm.. retest is next week.. Oh god.. mind's as empty as a abandoned village.. Okay some of u might not get this part but if u play tribal wars.. Maybe u'll know wad i mean.. =D Oh yeah... not to forget my BTT coming up this friday.. Booo~~~~

Anyw... life's pretty much awesome now.. No more emo-ing and beating myself up over that particular person anymore... Having jiayi in my life is simply jus enough... =D Okay.. i'll jus breeze thru on how we met.. We both work in robinsons Centre Point, the only thing is that we'r on different levels.. She's on lvl 3 while i'm on 4.. So how did we meet? Well, all thnx to my best buddy sebas(Not the fat piece of pork meat)... Hahahahas... Dunno for wad reason.. oh.. i rmb.. he went down to lvl 3 to use the loo.. then he saw Jiayi and Fifi.... and that's when he called me down.. LOL.. okay.. so.. since he said he saw a damn chio promotor.. no harm jus taking A look.. LOL.. went down the escalator, and there she was standing right next the it.. The first look simply took my breathe away.. Almost melted my heart.. LOL... Yeah.. so that's how we first met, very unromantic i know.. but still.. it's the kind of moments where u will nvr forget.. Trust me.. Her cute looking eyes totally captured my heart.. I swear man... =D

Next up, dun need me to tell u guys wad happen lah hor? LOl.. kk.. i'll jus cont.... since then, me and sebas sticked to jus using the lvl 3 toilet although there's one on lvl 4.. hahahas... think we went up and down like more then 10 times.. Each time to use the toilet, but was jus an excuse to jus take another look at her.. think they noticed us as well lah.. i mean.. its too obvious.. even the blind can tell.. OPPS !!! Jus Kidding.. no offense.. if u'r blind and reading this.. pls dun get mad at me k ?? =P

Well, i sort of spent the whole afternoon cracking my brain, trying to figure out a way to hook up a conva with her.. but its damn pai seh one lah.. lvl 3 for ur info is women's department.. so its gonna be damn weird to have guy promoters there walking ard... Finally... we came up with this lame game whereby we jus go ard guessing promoter's age.. Of cuz to make the game a little more exciting, we bet on their ages.. LOL... and that's when i finally plucked up the courage and approached her.. Iniatially my guess was she's ard 17 while sebas took 18.. but it turned out that she's only 16 !!! Swt 16 !!! So young lah.. but she looks way mature to be jus 16.. anyw.. In relationship, age doesn't really matters right? As long as the guy's older.. Hahass...Okay.. so from there, we jus talked and everything was cool.. And i'm definitely lovin' it.. =D didn't stay for too long cuz didn't want to arose un-wanted attention to any of us... So ard like close to closing time, normally we promoters, okok.. not all promoters, jus me and my clique, we'll either slack at the staff canteen or go to SL(street level) for a cig break... This time, i decided to ask Jiayi along and try to get to know her better but well.. with many others there.. didn't dare to go too far out.. anyway.. after slacking for abit at the canteen, the boys wanted to smoke so we went to SL, since jiayi dun smoke, i acc her back to lvl 3.. "Ask her for her number you will." i heard from deep within me... LOL.. Sounds like the jedi from star wars ah... but No lah.. made that shit up.. hahas.. where got so qiao one.. but i did asked for her number and she readily gave it to me.. =D
i think i did ask her where she stayed and so qiao.. quite near to mine... So decided to sent her home.. By the time we left CP, it was like drizziling heavily.. And i clearly rmbed asking her if she has an umbrella, and she lied no... LOL.. cuz she actually told me after we reached the station she has.. Cuz her fren was with us as well, so she didn't know who to share the umbrella with if she has taken it out mah.. I find it damn hilarious lah.. LOL... anyw.. its over so.. hahas.. forget it.. yup.. that pretty much summed up the day... We kept in contact and msged each other alot and yeah.. things happened.. Wonderful things.. And i hope they ain't like fairytales or dreams that i'll wake up from one day.. Or sld i say, even if its a dream, i hope i'll nvr wake up from it..

I Love you Jia yi !!!! =D

Okay lah... blog till here.. hope u guys enjoy reading !!!

P.S : Jiayi !!! i know u'll be reading this.. Dun laugh k ? I tried to write everything as detailed as possible.. so i think there's certain things u didn't knew.. =X Love you lots !! *hugs*

~JHJY~

After work..

Movie

2008-06-25T23:56:00.003+08:00

Went out for movie date with Jy for the first time.. watched te hulk.. eh.. surprisingly the storyline is not bad.. Hmmm... loved the time spent tgt.. :D
Ciao~

Chalet

2008-06-20T08:48:00.003+08:00

Jus got back from chalet.. Hmm.. it was actually a last min sort of thing.. Like 2 days notice in advance.. but nontheless it was a successful one.. Tk's chalet actually.. The whole gang came over.. Which includes TK, Gwen, Darren, Reuben, Timon, Timothy, Tuan Hock, Sheng En, Me and jiayi.. Was supposed to meet up at 1pm but in the end.. lol.. met up at 5 plus.. Due to some asshole who overslept.. LOL.. So in the meantime, sent jiayi to work at cp ard 3pm.. Reached Cp, had lunch with jy and fifi.. Jy's colleage.. Rushed off to pasir ris to meet darran , reuben and timon.. Went down to costa sands.. TK, his gf, gwen and th were alr there.. So we slacked, chilled, sang, watched tv in the chalet till like ard 8plus.. Went off alone to pick jiayi from Pasir ris mrt.. Think i'm like a damn jialet influnce to her lah.. Her work starts at 5pm, supposed to end at 10pm.. Kept physco-ing her to jus chaoz at 7pm.. Hahas.. so could meet up for dinner tgt mah.. The whole lot of us had dinner at some coffee shop probably 3 streets away from downtown east.. Had zhi char.. Not bad lah.. didn't know jy couldn't take spicy food.. ended up she didn't had much to eat.. Felt bad bout it.. Sry !!! =( After dinner, walked back to chalet.. Slacked till sheng en came.. Played poker cards, drank and sang.. Watched tv.. the same old shit again.. I didn't want to drink that night.. as in cuz its a rare chance that both jy and i could hang out tgt.. So took the opportunity to take her to the beach for a stroll.. Was ard 1am.. But the place is still filled with ppl.. Found a comfy corner and sat down.. Talked and really got to know each other alot more and better.. hahas.. love is in the air.. Well.. =D Walked back to chalet.. As usual.. they were all slacking.. nth productive.. hahas.. after TK's gal left.. Jy and i became victims of the night.. lol.. but it is okay.. Was fun.. =D Hmmm.. so they rest of them end up drinking and talking outside the chalet room for the rest of the night.. And becus of that jy and i had more time to chill tgt.. Hahas.. okay lah.. write till here.. damn shagged now.. need a good morning sleep.. Meeting up classmates for proj work in town later on.. Chaoz !!!

Love you lots jy !!! =D

Common Test

2008-06-03T05:03:00.009+08:00

Has been nearly 2 weeks since i last updated my blog.. Was rather busy with my studies and stuff.. Recently got hooked up into texas poker.. Gambling yes.. Haven made much from it though.. been losing.. But over the time, valuble experience gained.. So.. its okay.. =)
First paper was on monday, did fairly badly.. could have done better but oh well.. Am contented enough jus to pass it.. Low aim i know.. but really all the lesson ponnings caused me dearly..

Anyway... still got like 3 more papers to go.. 2 on thursday and last one's on friday.. Looking forward to working again next weekend.. Miss those promoters at CP.. hahas.. and definitely drinkin and taking puffs and all the crap shits... And also my boys from church.. Though we hardly meet up anymore in church becuz of my job, we still make an effort to meet up during friday or sat nights.. the only times i am free during the weekends.. hahas... and my buddy sean.. Love those times we hung out and crap loads of bull.. Life has a huge twist turn suddenly in my life.. I got to say.. those things tht happened 9 mths ago.. Yes.. they happen for a reason.. For bonus, a good reason.. Made me see life is not only jus bout relationship or so.. But its still good to have someone there to care for ya.. Hahas.. wadever..

Now.. here's some photos of me recently... Been out mostly with sean.. So that's him in the photo other then me.. =D

At RP.. Me and Sean

19th bday celebration at MOS

me And mel at rp.

sean and company with me at a pub

This is wad we had for shots.

Celebrating Lionel's bday at Fish N Co.

Posing at L.O.V.E outside Fish n Co. PS

Kumar Patel's "Square Root 3"

2008-05-23T03:43:00.006+08:00

I'm sure that I will always be

A lonely number like root 3.

The three is all that's good and right

Why must my 3 keep out of sight.

Beneath the vicious square root sign.

I wish instead I were a 9.

For 9 could thwart this evil trick

With some quick arithmetic.

I know I'll never see the sun

As 1.7321 Such is my reality, A sad irrationality.

When Hark! What is this I see?

Another square root of a 3.

As quietly as co-waltzing by,

Together now we multiply.

To form a number we prefer,

Rejoicing as an integer

We break free from our mortal bonds

With a wave of magic wands.

Our square root sign become unglued

Your love for me has been renewed!

-Kumar Petal-

I believe in true love no more unless proven wrong.

Sorry haven't been updating recently.. Been quite busy with work acutally.. Thus, neglecting my studies.. This is bad... Yes i know.. Hmmm... A little re-cap of wad happen last weeked.. Friday night had cell in sch, it was my second time back to cell this year after being mia for a long time since year 1? Been drifting away further and further from my dear cellies.. But i'm back.. Hahas.. Okay.. cell was great... enjoyed worship so much.. due to the fact that i haven been to church for the past 4 weeks because of work.. Working practically ate up both my saturday and sunday.. Acutally its gonna take up all my sat and sun as long as i'm staying on this job.. Working from 10am to 10pm.. Rough day yeah... But really nvr felt as happy and satisfied as that for a long time.. This is wad i call life.. Instead of hiding in my bedroom, emo-ing bout the torn-apart relationship i use to have.. working the hours off is actually a good way to spend.. and more imptly i love the other promoters there.. Frenly and stuff.. and always cracking jokes all the time... Okay.. back to church.. Like i'v said.. Haven been to youth service for like a mth.. Missed all the worship and preachings.. Hmmm.. Guess i'll take leave on one of these sats to visit church again.. Although i'm drifted apart from church, i nvr stop meeting up with the dudes.. Gambling at sam's, drinking and clubbing still goes on.. =D Last sat, ended work at 10.30pm, met up joab and conray for a night of excessive clubbing.. Well, acutally was jio-ed by my NS fren, Jac went as well.. her first time.. Hahas.. was so glad to see them after such a long time.. Clubbed and drank till like 4am.. Took a cab home.. Details of wad happened in the club , i wish they remain confidential as i really hope to forget that incident.. Jus take it that it nvr happened.. =/ Sunday started work at 10am... Another day of crapping and slacking during work at Taka.. Cuz the floor manager wasn't ard for the entire day.. I practically slacked all the way.. Took frequent smoking breaks, had random meal hours and worst of all.. I met up abby from church at ard 8pm for late dinner.. LOL.. slacked for 1.5hrs with her before returning to work.. LMAO... imagine getting paid to slack.. Wad a cool job i'v gotten myself.. Hahas... Getting my pay on the 2nd June.. About 400 odd i guess.. hahas.. now dreams of owning a new hp and psps are starting to be relished.. Well.. still have to control my spendings abit.. needa save up to pay tuition fees.. Rmb my previous trip to taiwan? Yes.. that one with JC, PH and YL... Spent every single cent that i saved to pay my sem fees there.... Had a marvalous time i have to say.. would definitely not mind having another one during one of the coming holidays. Hahahas.. Okay... Mon was vesak day.. worked as well.. Nth much practically.. But towards the closing hours was rather busy.. Once i had to serve like 4 customers in a go.. Wheew.. almost killed me man.. They were all so damanding and rude. Fuck you bitches.. I'm a promoter.. Not ur son.. Dun keep asking me for opinions man.. Jus buy and get the fuck out of my way... Fking Irritating.. TOlerance level is only { } this much so stay clear of me when i'm pissed.. Cuz i'll be the last thing u'll ever rmbed if i get violent..

Hahas.. but i'm nice if u'r nice to me.. So dun let that keep u from being frens with me.. I'm actaully a really nice guy u know? Hahahahs... I bet the whole world knows except her.. Haix.. At times, thots of her will jus pop into my head.. She's like a tatoo, leaving her mark on me for eternal.. But not gonna let that take my singlelisim away from me.. Cuz i'm enjoying every moments of it.. =P

Thrusday,

Went to skol late, nvm that, was watching man utd and chealsea wad.. Man utd won obviously and they won me some fast cash as well.. Hahas.. but alr spent it so.. Hahas.. Ended skol ard 5pm.. Went home for a quick change of clothes before meeting Celine. She happens to know me thru my sister.. Although it was Jon tian who officially intro-ed us.. Anyway.. met her up and acc her to send her CPU for data- retrieving.. Hope u can get back all ur beloved photos and proj works.. Hahahas.. Oh yeah.. Jon tian's lappy crashed.. wad coincidence.. Cuz celine's desktop crashed as well.. Haahass.. so wad does this mean? Go dell.. LOL... after sending her CPU for repairing, met up jon Tian at mac's to study.. In the end didn't really do much.. Except played tirbal wars and talk cock with them.. Went to play pool for abit ard 11pm.. took the last 261 home.. Sent her home as she lives jus streets away from me.. Reached home ard 1 plus in the morning.. Dota-ed and now blogging.. LOL.. its 4.45am now and i got skol at 8am tml.. WTF.. lol.. okay.. gtg catch some slp now.. Ciao !!

Trouble !!!

2008-05-16T01:11:00.002+08:00

Oh my dear lord.. Wad is becoming of me... Lazy is the only word able to discribe me now.. Siao liao lah.. For the past 2 weeks.. I'v been missing lessons regularly.. Becoming damn lazy to go to skol.. Or even revise.. The only things i do now is game, watch anime and work.. =( Its saving me alot of money but.. Zzz.. at the expense of my studies.. Die liao lah... Haix... Will be working frm sat to monday.. At taka if i'm not wrong.. Come look me up if u'r free ppl !! =)

Oh my fking lord !!!!

2008-05-09T01:13:00.003+08:00

What the fk is wrong with this Austrian mother fker? In case u ppl are puzzlled by wad i am refering to.. I'm talking bout the Josef Fritzl Case.. This 73 year old fuck build a underground dungeon, how cool ? U think so? Wait till u finish reading this post... He locked up and repeatedly raped his daughter Elisabeth in the underground dungeon - and the abuse lasted 24 years. She was only 11 when the rape started and at 18, she got lured by her dad into the under-ground dungeon.. Jus what the fuck... Not only that.. During the 24years of raping, he made his daughter pregnant 7times.. And she gave birth to the 7 incest kids... Nb Pua cb.. What the fk man.. For 24years.. I'm only 19 eh !!!! And for the past 19 years, i'v like done so much shit.. Been ard europe, America, Studied more then 13 years... And working as a promoter at Robinsons.. She? Locked up in a fking unlitted dungeon... Omg.. And i still can't believed i'v actaully been so close to her.. I'v been to Austria twice.. Yes.. And all these sufferings and toutures have been already going on.. Now that CB kia is comfortably lying in his solitary cell watching tv... Pua teh mia.. After wad he had done.... Is throwing him into jail the best u mother fking judges can do? eh !!! wAKE UP !!! He raped his own flesh and bone eh... His own daughter !!! For 24years !!!!! Sld jus chopped off his penis lah.. Throw him into the incinerator like wad he did to one of the twins who die jus hours after he was borned... How fking cruel.. And he actually lied to his wife that their daughter had ran away from home at the age of 18 to join a cult.. Cb... WAD injustice is this man..

Here's the link for those that are interested------>

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/worldnews.html?in_article_id=564291&in_page_id=1811

Now think of it.. I lived such a fortunate life.. No worries, no sufferings, no tortures... Haix... Wad is a BGR problem compared to many other fucked up problems that so many poeple are going thru right now... =/

Update !

2008-05-05T00:19:00.002+08:00

Hey people.. Haven been updating for awhile.. Too many things happened.. Not really alot but i'll jus breeze thru wad i did for the past whole week..

Monday was the shittest day of my life.. Sort of lah.. Well u see.. I left home on sunday night due to a arguement with my mum.. Crash over at jon's place for the night.. Went home early in the morning, showered then left for skol.. Since the day i left home, My mum nvr once spoken to me.. Its quite sad.. Its like (touchwood) I have no mum anymore.. Haix.. Okay.. skol was good.. Meet up with my group as usual.. Didn't do anything.. Jus plainly listened to lecture and watch some videos on racisims and why prejudice existed.. Sort of changed my whole opinion on racisim.. Hahas.. Suddenly felt so racial hamornious..

Tuesday wasn't any better.. Skol work and stuff.. Practically.. The whole week was like jus skol and nth else.. Well.. On wed.. Went out with seany boy since there isn't training due to Labour day on the following day.. We took at train down to RP.. Went to watch a hip hop dance audition.. Reached the skol quite early.. Was suppose to meet up with his gf.. But well, since we had time, went to tour the skol on our own.. Went into the lecture theater, tuitorial room floors and practically walked ard the skol once.. Went to the sports blk, saw sarah.. Hahas.. Long time since we last met. Played pool and chilled out in the lib.. Cool enviroment.. Met up with his gal mel next.. She was in hip hop clothes with lots of make ups.. Ate dinner in this small cafe next to the audition room.. Watched the whole audition next.. Dance steps were pretty much straight forward.. but i guess its still too tough for many ppl as most of them keep forgetting their steps.. Hahas.. Was funny watching them look so lost and pai seh.. HAHAS.. No offense but.. was really funny.. Hmmm.. was ard 9pm alr by the time everything ended.. Can u believe it? We spent like 5hrs in RP.. LOL.. doing nth practically.. Hmmm.. Took a train home after that.. Next day was labour day.. I work full shift at Cp.. Was damn tiring.. the rate of ppl flowing into robinson was crazy.. never folded so many clothes in a day in my entire life.. Now i think i can help out abit with my house chores.. Lesser the burdens of my mum.. =) 12hrs of work really can knock u out.. but it was a very enjoying period.. Jus work and work.. Forget about all the unpleasant stuffs and has either happened or is happening.. Won't say i love this job but the pay is quite reasonable for the amount of work done.. Except on thursday which was busy like hell.. On weekends was more slack.. Thru this job.. I was able to practice communication with many different customers.. and its good hearing customers praise ya for jus that little bit o service u provided them with.. =) Now.. am hoping to get my application at DFS accepted.. Hope to work there man... There's always a first time to everything.. So yup.. Looking forward to more new challenges into my life.. Friday night, went training after skol alone at warrens, was to bowl on the sat league.. Dad picked me up aftr training, on the way home, received a call from sam, boys are gathering at his place for poker.. Since didn't have to work on Sat, i went over.. In Jus like 1hr, i lost 30 bucks.. My lord.. Haix.. didn't feel like continuing.. then suddenly rembed Jac's bday chalet.. So we drove over to downtown east.. Crashed in for the night.. Gambled poker till like 4am.. LOL.. made 16 bucks... But lost 30 on Black Jack.. Damn.. Sam, conray and joab went home, I stayed over at the chalet till next morning.. Met up sean and mel at the tampanies Station.. THey were heading to town so joined them since its on the way home for me.. Went to Chinese swimming club for the competition.. Bowled a 132, 169 and 187.. Disappointing.. We lost overall i guess.. Fked.. If only i had more confidence in myself.. Anyway.. got to forget bout it and move on.. Which i know i will and i can.. Cuz i'v done it b4.. Sunday went to work again.. Thought will be working at Taka.. In the end suppose to be at Cp.. didn't get the chance to meet up Shu hui.. some promoter i knew during my first day of work there.. Anyway.. At cp, was quite fun though.. Got to know afew more frens.. Hanged out abit after work then headed home.. Still got a proj to rush.. So i guess i'll stop here.. Ciao !!! =D

Weekends

2008-04-28T22:54:00.002+08:00

Hey.. Sorry for not updating.. Have been very busy during my weekends.. Well.. let's start with friday.. Skol ended an hour early cuz the air-con in the LT was spoilt.. So lecturer dismissed us early.. Everyone were sweating like mad.. It was like SAUNA man... after that went to the lib.. watched the bubble boy.. Movie about this kid who has no immune system.. A single germ could kill him anytime.. So he had to live in this huge bubble tube made by his parents.. Funny show though.. After that went to centre point for work with jon.. Originally was from 9pm-3am.. But work ended like at 12am.. Zzz.. had a quick bite at Mac's ... Then took a cab home.. Cuz company policy allows us to claim.. Hahas.. well.. the dumb thing was i forgot to get a receipt from the taxi driver.. But my sales rep got it covered for me.. Hope can claim tio.. =X

Sat.. worked full shift from 10am to 10pm at taka men's depertment.. Selling shirts from this Brand call Arnold Palmer.. No business one.. Fkin slack.. Walked ard.. talk to ppl.. Met gals.. LOL... Took smoking breaks on and off.. The promoters there were damn frenly lah.. And coincidentally met this gal who happens to know the fker who stole my gf... =,= wadever... As usual.. hear stuffs like no one like him, his arrogant and this and that.. Fking loser.. Nevermind that.. Erm.. after work.. Went out with joab and conray.. watched Harold and Kumar at the cathey.. LOL.. that movie.. seriously is the best comedy i'v ever watched in my whole entire life.. Its M18.. so the content's abit fked up.. But still, watching it from the second row was abit fked up.. Thnx conray, Nice selections of seats.. _l_ After the movie, headed to sam's place.. Played Blackjack, texas poker.. Lost 5bucks at the end of everything.. Took a quick shower at his place, borrowed a shirt from him cuz i need to report to work at 9.30am on sunday morning.. as we walked out to the main road.. I felt like really cmi.. So took a cab home, and fell right aslp on my bed.. woke up at 1.30pm.. Realised wad deep shit i was in.. LOL.. late for work by 4hrs.. My god.. Rushed down, faked sick.. They bought it.. LOL.. Worked till 9.30pm.. bUt to be honest.. sld be slacked till 9.30pm.. cuz i wasn't at my station most of the time.. Was talking to other promoters and stuffs.. LOL.. went for smoking break with 2 other promoters outside ngee ann city.. Talked to sean on the phone for abit then went back in.. Wasted man.. Didn't get to see his chick-to-be.. LOL.. heard she's some hot chick working in singtel.. Anyway.. went home after work on sunday night.. Dunno wtf lah.. Got chased out of home by my mum.. Quarrelled over some stupid issues.. Went to crash over at jon's place.. 1am in the morning.. no bus.. lots of cabs, no money.. Can only walk over lor.. Next morning which is this morning lah, ate breakfast with him and his mum at the coffee shop.. That's my only meal of the day untill like dinner.. Nb.. was fking hungry the whole day.. Like dog.. Anyway.. its over.. Forget it.. Now that i'm back home.. Jus hope that the storm's over..

Good luck norine.. I know its too late to do anything now that u guys are tgt.. But i won't try anything... Jus hope one day, we could be frens again.. Cheers..

Week 2

2008-04-25T01:32:00.002+08:00

Week 2 is almost up.. Had fun schooling nowadays.. No distractions at all.. No nothing.. Jus purely schooling.. Well.. I'm starting work today.. Yes.. Will be working at Robinsons Centre Point as a promoter.. Hahas.. feel free to look me up on weekends if u happen to passby yeah? =)

*Never make a promise you can't keep

heys~

2008-04-21T18:37:00.003+08:00

If u can't decide.. the best choice is to give it up.. And start afresh..

Skol

2008-04-18T20:01:00.003+08:00

Week 1 has jus gone by like the wind.. Fast, too fast to be labelled boring.. Am starting to love school once again.. The feeling of being surrounded by frens has overwhelmed the loneliness creeping inside of me.. Ain't u glad to see that smile on my face everyday now? Hahas.. As time goes by, i'v came to realised that alot of things i have done were jus plainly for the sake of doing it, its not wad i wan, its jus a moment of rash acts and thots that pushed me into the mess i was in.. Instead of cleaning them up, I made things worst.. That's probably the sign telling me that i ain't suitable or old enough to think properly before doing certain stuffs.. Studying suddenly became my everything.. When i was lonely during breaks, my notes were there, on rides to skol and home, when my phone didn't buzz or receive any msgs, my notes were there to accompany me.. It became like the only thing in life i have.. Probably cuz i'm jus too used to being in a r/s... That's why this fear of loneliness developed.. Although somethings are gone, but definitely it benefited me one way or another..

Baby cousin's 1 yr old tml.. Will be at jurong for the whole evening.. Before that, will be having a gathering at my sec skol fren's place.. Long time since i last seen the few of them.. Well.. Des, u'r missed by all of us.. Hahas... Alright then.. Time for dinner.. Haven been regulating my meals, pointed out by my doc durin the last visit to the clinic, indeed there's nth that i can hide from her.. Even smoking.. =X hmmm.. but jus hoping that i can draw a clear line regardin that issue.. I know its bad for health and its a expensive habit.. but it jus helps me relax.. Everytime i think of random stuff, my whole body will tense up so bad, then emotion will overcome my sense and drown me in another shithole.. Not say smoking is the only cure but jus that it helps... But i think only i myself know the real ans... And sorry ppl, i'm jus too weak now to say no to cigs.. Sorry..

Freedom = No gf = save money = One day closer to owning a PSP and a new Hp ... muhahahas...

LOL

2008-04-18T00:12:00.002+08:00

????? 抽烟戒烦脑, 赌博练头脑,喝酒身体好 ??????

=/

2008-04-17T04:34:00.002+08:00

Haix.. was jus reading thru the chat logs of me and her.. Realised how freaking evil and lousy a bf i am.. No wonder she wan to break up.. LOL.... anyway.. It was pretty funny too.. Was laughing non-stop at the way we talked and seriously.. I jus dunno how to treasure things.. So now.. All my frens out there.. I'll treasure everyone of ya forever.. =)

Sigh.. Skol at 9am.. Ends 5pm.. So standardized everyday... =(

Based on birth date

2008-04-15T16:37:00.001+08:00

You have pleasant and friendly personality. People look up to your wit and imagination. You are unpredictable and hardly complete what you started, which sometimes create negative impact to people around you. Your Love, Falling in love becomes your routine. Most of the time, you are lucky. You fascinate people with good taste but you never have enough with one. Although your love progresses very fast, it never lasts.

Somewhat damn true.. LOL..

This has no link to the top post.. Well.. life's been really so frustrating.. Studying has become the only thing i can and have to do now.. No more gf, no more sorrows, no more pain.. Jus plain old me left torn and shattered.. Hoping to recover from the aftermath of my self-invited disasters.. Was jus browsing thru xz's blog and i realised that this following paragraph is so me and so damn true..

"When u give, don't expect anything in return.So why give?Somtimes I really wonder what kind of a person i really am. Do i give for merits or for personal satisfaction? When you do things for others or show concern or whatever there is, I personally feel that as long as there is appreciation, thats more than enuff.But,sometimes I can't feel it.So i guess i don't work on the basis of "when u give , don't expect anything in return". Budden again, sometimes , it works that way..to some.."

Sigh.. have been struggling trying to understand wad i'v learnt today.. This new module has been deemed cursed.. Failure rates' high.. Freaking peeing my pants anyday man due to jus worrying over this.. Haix... But the positive point is that i'm reunited with few of my old classmates.. Which is encouraging though.. Alright.. time to catch some rest.. Thinking of deleting this blog.. I mean.. i'm grateful for all those of u who still bother to type in my blog link and check up on me.. Really apprecaited it.. But sometimes, was jus wondering why am i blogging so much.. Now to everyone.. Ryan's so predictable.. Haix... Time to keep Low... hahas.. okay lah.. will see how.. ciao !!!

2008-04-15T01:39:00.004+08:00

Had another long talk with des... This is one guy that i looked up to man.. Seriously.. Its jus so ever encouraging and peaceful talking to him.. Looking back.. At wad i'v been thru.. Yes.. firmly i said.. Enough.. Its time to look ahead.. Its time to stop all these nonsense in my life.. Meant to be or not.. Many ppl tend to use it for relationships, but now i realised that that's wad differs me and him.. I'm still looking at things in a immature way.. 19 alr.. Wasted loads of time man.. Jus wanna say "bro, i'll nvr let myself down again with the wrong decisions in life.. swear i'm gonna walk out of the shadow.. I wan the rainbow.. badly... but yes.. gotta learn to bear with the rain first.. " Life is not all about the conclusion, but the process of it.. It teaches u many things u nvr knew.. Disappointments are the main motivators.. So when u'r at the point of dying or screwing up, dun give up.. Work hard and know ur goals.. Cuz that's wad makes one successful.. Managing ur time, ur emotions, ur social life is impt as well.. Always nvr take things for granted.. Signing out.. need to rest for skol tml.. Nitez all.. And last but not least.. Des, the 40mins will definitely not be wasted... you really open up my eyes to see wad's best for myself.. so.. thnx..

Sem 5

2008-04-14T11:39:00.004+08:00

First day of skol.. could still roughly rmb the first week of sem 4.. Haix.. every start to a new sem is always so challenging and rough.. Hmmm... K lah.. keeping my mind off things as much as possible.. Going off for skol now.. Update again soon..

Back from skol.. Was fun.. Had IS today.. Coincidentally i'm in the same class with alot of ppl that i knew and those that i'v nvr thot we could ever bump into each other de type.. Will be looking forward to school more then ever now.. Frens are really ppl u can't live without.. I mean, other then the person u love lah, but i think frens are crucially as impt as them.. Hmmm... Got to meet ppl from ACC (accountings de).. As usual, chicks.. Hahas.. Its like EE guys are so deprived of them lah.. LoL.. anyway.. Intro and stuff.. Class's boring.. Went to CC for the CCA fiesta.. decided to commit back to the NP bowling.. Yes.. I'm yr 3 alr.. Now then go back.. LOL.. wasted so much time lah.. but its okay.. Still young.. 19 only.. If you are readin this.. LOL.. 20 is also considered quite young okay !! But i doubt u'll see this so.. Hahas.. Oh yeah.. saw alan lim in NP.. lol.. came to NP to pick his gf.. Sweet sia.. Been along time since someone came to pick me up from skol le.. Now i'm missing those days in primary skol when my mum picks me up everyday.. =X Okay lah.. time to slp.. haix...

Any idea how tough is it to be loving someone who can nvr be wif ya? Its damn tough..