Tired~

Taken at dear's wrokplace...

.

Jus got back from chalet..

So tired...

Had loads of fun...

Was glad that dear and my cell mates bonded well...

=D

Luvs~

I love you sandnana !!! =D

Why must this happen again... WHY !!??

Told ya there is nth btw me and her le....

Yet you still wanna insist on your views....

I give up...

If you say there's smth on then there is....

NS~

Went back to school today to appeal..

But was told that I won't stand a single chance unless I have a fucking good reason..

Gina and Des went with me...

And they were the first ones to hear the news..

And i think they were shocked at how calm I still could remain..

Although I am dismissed from sch...

They say i can always come back and finish up wad i left behind after NS....

Haix.. Hope they dun tua me on this...

So NS life... Here i come..

A little comforting news is that I would be able to go NS with my frens..

And hopefully we get into the same camp and then I would really have no regrets...

Already spent 2 years alone in poly le...

Dun wan my NS life to sux...

Many of you might be thinking I ki siao or smth..

Go NS still so happy.. But let me tell u guys...

I'm more then prepared to enter NS..

Or should i say can't wait to be enlisted..

But a part of me will be sad cuz i won't be able to see baby as often le...

But on weekends k? =D

Now while waiting for check up and enlistment letter..

I will be working my time away...

Hopefully earn some money and enjoy the remaining time b4 i enter...

Alright back to today...

After school went to city hall with gina and des...

Acc gina to collect her pay...

Then bus-ed to AMK...

Met up with the usual ppl and slacked practically...

Ate dinner with Jon tian and home was the next destination...

Been dota-ing till now and of cuz not to forget..

Talking to baby...

Haven seen her for days le..

Tml will be going down after the job interview to look for her at Roxy...

Miss you loads gurl...

Cya tml yeah?? =D

*Misses and hugs*

Results :

Ecam : F
EMD : F
DOPS : F
PT : D

Remark : DISMISSED !!!!!!!

Si bei swee lah....
Failed fucking ecam and emd again...
Knn....
These 2 courses dun like me izzit??
Siao liao...
Ppl study 6 sems in poly...
While i need to do 8 sems...
!#@%$#@^%&#%

Sometimes... Really jus feel like quitting..
Go straight to NS...
And sigh on..
But i know w/o a diploma...
I'm close to being nth...
SO NO.... I gotta strive on....
1 More year...
Needa go bck to school on monday to appeal...
Fucked. !!

Jus got back from Wen Hui's poly class chalet at pasir ris ,costa sands...
Most of the ppl there were like hi bye frens in poly,
but last night's bonding has brought us closer..
They were quite fun and good people to hang out with..
Before the chalet went down to bedok to look for Sand for awhile..
Slacked for abit then went to meet wh at bedok mrt at 5 plus...
Then train-ed down to pasir ris...
When we arrived at the chalet,
Tj and a few others whom i dunno were playing mahjong..
And the rest were either playing cards inside or playing the X-box 360 brought by Roeder..
Slacked and played a few rounds on the x-box..
Then started to help set-up and bbq..
The food was alright..
Initially felt sianx.. Wanted to leave early..
But then darling was coming so stayed on..
Was bbq-ing when she arrived..
Watched Perfect Cut 2 and then went to bbq more food...
Ard 11plus dear got tired so send her to take a cab home..

Went back to the chalet..
Could hear their laughters from 1 block away..
That was how loud they were..
They were playing circle of death and i joined in halfway..
JAy broke the chain and therefore he finished up 3 cups of bacardi mix...
And turned into a tomato..
Super fking red i swear...
Then played the indian poker game..
Everyone had their fair share of drinks so its okay ....
But once in a while there's a few moments of sa bo-ing and stuff..
After playing..
Went out for more photo takings...
Then walked to Mac's for supper..
Roeder was totally drunk..
She even labelled herself a "Mei ren yu" (Mermaid)
We were like no lah.. u are "Mei ren yeeeeeeeeeeeeee" ;P
Hahas.. super funny..
There's also one part at downtown where we backed away as Jay continued walking alone in front..
And the rest of us hid up..
Should have seen the shocked look on his face lah !!!
HAHAS...
So.. had mac's...
Saw a few super under age smoking...
Haix...
Singaporean kids...
Hopeless...
Next wanted to go red hus but abit far cuz we'r all tired le..
So headed back to chalet..
Played poker thru-out the whole night..
And even in the morning...
At the end of the enitre day of intense gambling..
I'm proud to say i didn't lose nor win..
That suxs..
LOLS....

So ate lunch at downtown then cabbed home with wh...
Slpt like punnie like only..
Abit tired now..
Think will take a short nap now...
Ciao !

Oh yeah... b4 i forget !!!
WATCH " COMING SOON " !!!!
It's fucking scary.. I swear !!!!

A moment to savour

Patched up with dear days ago...

Was really glad that one small error did not lead to a big mistake in our lifes..

Alright.. Let's start blogging...

.

.

.

Sunday :

.

Went to dear's place to teach her maths...

Think she did manage to understand a thing or 2...

Halfway thru studying...

Unpleasant things happened and due to that i left...

Leaving a scar on her...

But it wasn't intentional...

Cuz i was lied to...

Anyway..

went back to AMK...

Met up with wawa and this hongster wen ning...

Ken's godsis..

She came to find us cuz she happens to be in AMK..

Then met up with leong bros...

Went to basketball court there slack...

After awhile went home and dota-ed..

.

.

Monday :

.

Reached home and slept..
Was talking to dear on msn b4 she left for her papers..

And by the time i woke up she's back alr..

Not really good news from her regarding her paper...

But its okay.. like i told you jus now..

I'll supervise you everyday from the start of next skol term..

and make sure u pass everything with flying colours... =D
Initially dear said she'll be coming over to mine to study..
But then ltr changed her mind cuz it started to rain and she was rather tired..
So she asked me to go over to her's instead..
Which i did..

Didn't really teach her much cuz most of the time we'r jus talking..
Had dinner then went home...
Slacked awhile at home b4 meeting the clique at 2am..
Went to Gina's place to tonn..

Played wii, mahjong and watched tv...

Was really fun lah..

Kept my mind off things for abit...

And before i knew it, i was snoring away on the sofa ard 5am...

.

.

Tuesday :

.

Woke up at about 2pm...
Met up with des for lunch...

Went to hub next to find dason...

Dear came back from her exam..

Didn't excel as well for the second paper..

Cheer up yeah?

Its the holidays.. =D
Slacked awhile at hub b4 watching Kungfu Chef with gina...
Can only say its a so-so movie..
Then after that went sumo house with her for dinner..
Next stop was her house..
Went there slack awhile and read blogs...
Ken went in alr..
We'll be missing you bro..
Hurry book out lah !!!
I miss thrashing you in dai di...
lol !!! =X
Ard 9pm headed down to airport to fetch jeremy..
Met up jon ben and xin yu and the gals from cell at T2..
Met joab they all at T2..
Received jeremy and we'r all making a big din at the airport...
Super funny lah...
Went home after that..
Oh yeah.. it was on this day baby patched back with me..
And she tricked me in the beginning..
And i bought it...
Fuck you are evil gal !!!
But still i love you.. =D
Okay.. finally can slp at ease from now on...

.

.

Wed :

.

Woke up like ard 12pm..

Ate lunch at home..

Msg dear for abit..

Could not get to meet her cuz she's having her day out with her sisters...

So went to meet delia, her fren and des...

Gina came after that...

Ate at sumo again !!!!

Second time in a week...

Then went to slack at some void deck...

Then delia and her fren went home..

The 3 of us went down to hub to wait for dear..

She jus ended her photoshoot at serangoon...

Met up dear and bus-ed down to her place for dinner...

Slacked awhile at her place and left ard 11pm..

Had to catch the last train..

Dun wanna waste $$$ on cabs le...

.

.

.

.

K lah, b4 i end this post here..

Jus wanna say...

Baby.. I really do treasure and appreciated you...

It's time we stop all our nonsense and move on...

Let bygones be bygones...

A fresh start benefits all...

And dun worry lah..

I won't touch anyone w/o any reason anymore...

A promise is a promise... =D

.

I'm alr starting a path of light..

It's time i leave the dark side..

Woah.. sounds super like star wars...

LMAO....

Star~

The flame's dying...

This is our fate~

Gal... I'm always trueful bout my feelings...

I try my best to give in..

Try my best to keep you happy...

I did almost the impossible..

Tolerated your temper..

I'm always there whenever you need me...

I did my job not only as a boyfren..

But tried my best to become one step ahead...

Wad happened jus now...

Could be avoided...

Had we been more careful with the choice of words...

Had you not lied bout your feelings...

Had you not joke about those stuff...

Everything could have turned out well...

Had i controlled..

Things would be better..

The Ryan now is no longer the old me...

I'm changing for you..

Jus hope u realise wad you are missing out now...

Take care...

Sat :

Slept at like 10 plus am..

Woke up not long later at 1pm...

Suppose to meet gina and ( ___ ) =P

But in the end i was made to wait 40mins at hub..

Cuz gina who told me to meet at 2.20pm..

Left hus only realising it's 2.20pm alr...

SO SMART HOR !!!

then she went to get cigs for us...

So met up le.. waited for another dunno de fren come then headed for lunch..

Went suki sushi !!!!

HAHAS... SUPER FUNNY !!!

( ___ ) was like.. "woah this is my first time to such places.. "

Then happily playing with wasebi thru out lunch... =,=

Worst still.. someone said he/she is allergied to prawns but in the end...

The only thing he/she ate was prawns sushi... LMAO...

Then me and gina dun care le.. Jus ate and ate and ate..

as usual.. i had to finish some of gina's rice for her... =(

Lunch was okay... the wasebi in my sauce plate was like rather thick...

Teared while eating... =X

Then after a while me and gina went out for a smoke..

talked bout last time delia de tai ji...

Hey delia... dun ever join gang lah okay?

DUn even think about it....

Its not as beneficial as u might think it is...

Anyway.. after eating walked to hub... Then decided to catch a movie..

So watched PUSH* ...

Its so nice lah !!!

Gina mad one.. sit next to me keep laughing like even though its not funny lor..

=,=

After movie, wei and wawa and dog came... then ( ___ )'s frens came...

Slacked awhile.. THen after that they all left...

The remaining of us went to pei me eat dinner...

Halfway , yx and yl came...

Then went up to arcade... GM came...

GM ah... dunno how to say him...

First time see him guaii guaii de..

Now diao with us.. Become more and more paii...

Anyway... Went down to 700 slack awhile..

Wh came and i left...

Slacked awhile with wh at his blk then went home.. Watched 1 chinese show and fell asleep on the coutch.. Woke up at 8am this morning and realised.. So went into the room and fell aslp again..

So woke up not long ago only..

Smelly sia.. gonna wash up now..

cYA !!!!

Life~

My mind's in a very blur state now...

It could be due to lack of sleep as i'v jus returned from a night till morning's poker game...

Or it could be becuz of sandrina...

All i could remember happened on friday was only sandrina..

Nth else but her..

Woke up in the afternoon..

Met her for lunch then acc her to bugis street to get eye lashes...

Sent her home then went to amk to look for the rest...

Waited for all to gather then went down to pasir ris...

Met sandrina then walked down to the pit together with gina....

All i could rmb was I was really jus happy to see her..

Nth else.. then wei wei came over and talked to us..

maybe she didn't like the idea of the talk but it's the past alr so....

Later walked to red house...

Nana went her halfway..

Wei wei got a little aggitated but i held him back due to smth...

Things are really i dunno how to discribe...

I think only gina and desmond and wei knows the best how i feel right now....

Saw something... couldn't get it off my mind although i was assured it was nth....

But the buay kum wan is still there...

Anyway.. cabbed down to nana's place to take ken's bag..

he left it in her bag and forgotten to take it back when she left...

Had a talk but dun think it was at all useful..

Then nana went home...

Cabbed home with gina... really troubled right now...

Dunno wad to do..

Think the best thing is to not do anything..

afterall, i'v alr tried my best....

Leave it to fate...

How i treat you ... How we spent the 1 month plus together...

You sld know better then anyone else..

And I jus hope we dun regret in the end....

Been this lifeless for the past 1 week since break up...

Really loved her alot..

But for now.. it's best i disappear from her life...

Wait till the storm's over then talk bah..

Haix...

Yao hao hao de ai yi ge ren hao nan...

Baby i love you... i miss you alot... but i dare not ask for anything.. i can only wait now...

Photos :

I'm waiting for you.. waiting for the one and only you...

Better in time

A part of me still seeks her heart..
A part of me wans to become a scare crow and jus wait for her...
A part of me misses her madly truely deeply...
But the other 1 part says no...
Wad's said is said...
After all.. i guess i've changed almost everything except 1...
The importance of my pride...
That's wad truely brought harm to that r/s...
Life as a individual... Wasn't that bad...
Been thru and done it... So.. i guess i know wad needs to be done..
And wad will come the next few days...
If there was ever a chance..
I'll made things right i hope... =X

Anyway, met up wei and des and wei's gan ma... She treated us suki sushi...
Ate like 42 plates all together...
Then walked ard central.. Went to find kai xin and chatted awhile...
Show her the bruises and video from last night...
She was shocked.. LOL.. but dun worry.. won't die one...
Alright.. wad to do now..
Life w/o a certain someone is really uneasy to get use to..
Jus got to keep reminding myself..
And hope that all will be BETTER IN TIME...

Alright.. meeting star later to talk again...

Thnx for always being there whenever i feel down and lonely..

Thnx for all the signs and encouragement you have given me...

W/o you.. i dun think i can even be here..

Anyway.. slight headache now.. They keep coming.. Nb..

think too much le bah.. Haix...

Ciao ~

I'm not

I'm not the one for you...

We all know that now...

Find someone better..

Take care...

This should happen a long time ago....

.

.

泪水将我淹没

到底谁该难过

究竟是谁放掉这段感情

我才终于明白

奔不到的承诺 就成了枷锁

现实中幸福永远缺货

请告诉她我不爱她

笑着难过 自我惩罚

想终止这一切挣扎

狠了心说真心谎话

别告诉她

我还想她

恨总比爱容易放下

当泪水堵住了胸口

就让沉默代替所有回答

我才终于明白

奔不到的承诺

就成了枷锁

现实中幸福永远缺货

请告诉她我不爱她

笑着难过 自我惩罚

想终止这一切挣扎

狠了心说真心谎话

别告诉她 我还想她

恨总比爱容易放下

当泪水堵住了胸口

就让沉默代替所有回答

我不爱

我不痛

我不懂

我的心早已掏空

真心话言不由衷

请告诉她我不爱她

笑着难过 自我惩罚

想终止这一切挣扎

狠了心说真心谎话

别告诉她我还想她

恨总比爱容易放下

当泪水堵住了胸口

就让沉默代替所有回答

别告诉她我还想她

就让沉默代替所有回答

Can we pull thru ???

For those who are curious of the post and can't read it due to the colour.. Here's wad written..

.

This is the only way i can stop you from getting hurt.

I'm sorry if i have hurt you way too deep.

I've to behave this way so that you can totally give up on me.

I dun wish to drag you any longer although i wanted you back.

But i know you have no patience in waiting, so why drag you and make you suffer?

So i'll rather just end things straight to stop those pain.

Sorry, i love you.

.

darling.. this is wad i wanted you to tell me..

fOr once the truth from the bottom of your heart..

If i haven been this harsh on you..

I'll never knew wad your mind and heart is yearning for...

I'm really happy to see all these from you..

It shows that you really love and care for me..

to stop all these pain of mine,

you scarificed a hell lot..

I dun wan you to continue doing all these baby...

All i need and wanna hear from you is those 3 words..

Not i love you, cuz i know deep down you love me alot..

But ***.....

So come back to me baby...

I wanna take care of you my whole life if possible...

I wanna be the one who brave thru stormy seas with you..

I wanna be the one you can trust and rely on...

I love you..

And i'm sorry for doing wad i did today..

I am inpatience... yes..

But even so, my heart still shouts your name...

It's a heart that's still beating for you....

Let's end these ordeal pls....

.

But it's okay if you dun wanna come back...

Cuz after all... It's I who wanted to leave..

But deep down... I only knew only this way that i could make you spill out your secrets...

I'm sorry...

.

.

P.S. I love you.